Boy on a String on a Wednesday Evening

So one day I decided to create a sports blog, a place for multiple users to post their thoughts on the sports world. See I love talking sports and I am beginning to realize very few of my friends could actually care about sports. That's what I get for living with nerds I guess, but what can ya do? Anyway, if anyone would like to contribute to this blog, let me know and I'll add you as a member.

Went home for Easter which was really nice. I was able to attend my own church again, which I really miss. Such a great place to worship in and a great group of people to worship with. I just wish I could find a place like that around here.

Been really rocking out to Jars of Clay as of late. Love the music. They are so amazingly talented. But I must say, not that big of a fan of their site. It's all in Flash. Who in the world ever thought that an entire site in flash was a good idea. You can't link to jack because it's all the same URL. So many bands do this. Who the hell made this the band norm???

Well, I really didnt have much to say, but check out the "No Steroids Here", the sports blog. I will now leave you with some Jars.

The marionette has your number
Pulling your arms and legs till you can't stand on your own
Dragging you conscience on the stage
And your heart gets rearranged,
And you cannot tell your mentor from your Maker
Look at the crowds bleeding with laughter
Over the way you entertain at beckon call
They don't see behind the lights or the painted background
They just like to see you fall

And you don't really mind
And you're just wasting time
And you don't feel anything
You're a boy on a string

I feel a sadness like Gapetto
Watching the life that he created run away,
Seeing the puppeteer's intrusion
And holding the remains of puppets that had rotted away
One day the curtain will not open
And all of the crowds will go away
But sometimes those strings will choke you
But until that day

No you won't really mind
And you're just wasting time
And you don't feel anything
You're a boy on a string

And you don't really mind
And you're just wasting time
And you don't feel anything
You're a boy on a string.

End of Blog Breakdown:
Hero: Beautiful weather again
Villain: Five Page Papers
Quote: "That snake is bigger." ~Jon Bullock
Mood: Meh, not amazing, but with weather like this, it's hard to not be in a good mood

Keep It Together on Monday Night

Watching my Cardinals open the new Busch Stadium. Such an excellent stadium. I must say, I am happy with it. The only gripe I have with the new staium is that it seats less than the pervious stadium. This means it is much harder for me to see my Cardinals. Grrrrrrrrrrr. But other than that, it is quite beautiful.

So it seems it has been a while since I last updated. Sorry, I have just either had nothing to say, or no time to write. And then by the time I had time to write, I would forget what I wanted to write about, or what I wanted to write about didn't matter any more.

Play by Play was a huge success. One of my writers never showed up, so I ended up writing one of the shows. This is not an easy thing for me, as I take forever to write. But I pounded it out and was rather happy about the product. If you would like to see the script, I present to you, "The Prodigal Box". I hope you enjoy it.

A lot of my fellow bloggers have been writing a "10 Things You Would Like to Say to People, But Know You Never Will." Meh. I'd probably say them to you if it actually mattered. Not to mention it just makes people wonder who you would be talking about and if you think it's you, you get mad for being called out. Nope, I swore that off, not bringing it back.

TSAV has been a lot calmer lately, and I must say, I like it that way. Let's see if we can keep this going to the end of the year. Not gonna hold my breath, but doesn't hurt to hope.

Such a beautiful day today. I walked outside this morning and it was simply gorgeous. Perfect day for the Cardinals home opener. I think we are gonna break out the grill today. Such a perfect day for it.

I miss you.

Played a bit of Unreal Tournament 2004 last night. I played on Nick's computer and I must say, I need to get a desktop soon. The graphics and sound were so much better when not running on my laptop. Figures.

So the results are in, and the women's basketball media guide was voted "Best in the Nation" for the second year in a row and my cover won "Best Cover in the Nation" a first for me. I am uber excited. The "Best Cover in the Nation" award is probably the top honor I can get, since the media guide is based on both the cover and all the stuff that Kevin does, but that cover, that's mine. Hopefully this is just the first of many to come.

Not much more to write about, so I will leave you with some Guster that Meagan has gotten me hooked on. Enjoy.

When we all finally washed ashore
It was clear there was no one else around
We declared a national holiday
A chance to build it from the ground
So far away from everyone
and everything starts today
Keep it together
Can we keep it together
We're singing a new song now
and everything starts today
Can we rise? Can we get along all right?
Can we miss the storm that sucked the whole world in?
And the boats went out at night
and the choppers in the sky
They searched but they could find no trace of us
So far away from everyone
and everything starts today
Keep it together
Can we keep it together
We're singing a new song now
and everything starts today
The thunder struck, the clouds appeared
Our fearless crew was not prepared
and pretty soon the boats came for us
half a million strong
We gathered arms, we fired shells
We build a wall around ourselves
and pretty soon the spirit was a lot like
what it used to be back home
So far away from everyone
and everything starts today
Keep it together
Can we keep it together
We're singing a new song now
and everything starts today

End of Blog Breakdown:
Hero: Beautiful weather
Villain: The Cubs
Quote: Had some really good zingers with Lindsey, but can't remember them. Maybe I'll change this if I think of it.
Mood: Kinda chipper, but relaxed

Truth Be Known on a Monday Night

It's been a while since my last post. I apologize to my dedicated readers. But I do not write here to simply write about what I have been up to. You want to know that, talk to me. I write here to express my views, my writing outlet. My way show the world who I am and show the world through my eyes.

So I have rediscovered the Newsboys and I have simply been loving the music. I love rediscovering music I used to be in love with. Rediscovering that passion of the music I once listened to all the time. I often find things in the music that I never saw before and songs mean something that they never did before. Such beautiful music.

This weekend was nice. I had a nice and quiet Saturday, something I have not had for quite sometime. Meagan and I rented a couple of movies, shared a pint of Ben and Jerry's and curled up on the couch together. Just a nice evening in.

Jut a blanket statement about my blog, unless I mention your name, don't assume anything is directed at you or simply about you. And please do not read into anything I rant about, as that is all it is a rant. However my father said some rather wise things to me, advice I am trying to take, so I will try not to "air my dirty laundry" on this blog any more. There are better ways to get stuff like that off my chest and address issues like that. So appologize to anyone who felt attacked as I assure you it was never an attack as I will never attack someone on my blog, that is simply rude--and a lot of as's. Anyway, this blog war ends right now. I expect the same respect.

As we were in the checkout line at Kroger the other night, Adam made an interesting observation. We don't shop like college students anymore. This house has really matured us a lot on the everyday operations of life. I learned a lot about budgeting and how to make my dollar go a little farther. I've learned a lot about cooking for four, accomodating tastes and the sheer quantity we can eat, and how to make meals stretch just that much farther. I've learned to truly care for a house, and keep it clean and such. I've learned why my mother constantly was annoyed by my crap being all over the place and why she had certain places for everything and not to screw up her system. I have been doing a lot of growing up in this past year and that transition from college to real life I don't think will hit me as hard as it hits some, because I am already doing it.

Well it is getting late, so I think I am gonna call it a night. But good luck to all at Rose with finals. Kick some academia ass. And now I will leave you with some sweet Newsboys to rock out to. I love these lyrics. Even if you have never heard the song, read the lyrics here.

he nods a little too fast
talking illogic with a big bombast, he's
full on dead sure any way's true, and he
wouldn't wanna knock it if it works for you, he

heave sighs a little too loud
so frustrated with the one-way in crowd
full on dead sure anything goes
until you go stepping on his own toes

hold on if the truth be known
truth is more than "to each his own"
if the truth be known
there'll be more to answer for
everybody gets a shot
it'll cost everything you've got
if the truth be known
do you really wanna know?

she tries a little denial
rolls her eyes like a jaded reptile
true/false questions make her uptight
opposites attract, so they both must be right

what if there's someone up there?
shrugs it off with a "don't know, don't care"
hopes to God he doesn't exist
but ignorance here is less than bliss

if the truth be known
everybody gets their shot

End of Blog Breakdown:
Hero: Meagan and Java Haute
Villain: Expanding Ice
Quote: "A little supper? Maybe some champagne?"
"I'd rather, um, just get it over and done with."
"Hmph. Oh. Very well. Then why don't you come down here and let's get it over and done with."
"I prefer to do it standing."
"Oh.
[starts to stand]
"You don't have to stand, I mean. It's sometimes that... It's quite long and I'd like you to be comfortable. It's quite modern what I do and it may feel a little strange at first, but I think, if you're open, then you might enjoy it."
"I'm sure I will... "
~Satine and Christian in "Moulin Rouge"
Mood: A little bored

Faling Out on a Sunday Evening

So I am sick and tired of this. I'm not sure who you think you are, and what exactly you have a right to, but this is old and retarded. You do not have a right to anything on or in my desk. Yes, my desk is personal property. Unless it was bought with house money, you do not have a right to anything on or in my desk. now you may ask and chances are I will say yes, but that is not a given nor is it a reason to skip that asking stage. Now if I'm not there and you need tape or a staple now, go for it, otherwise, you have lost your privelages of not asking for anything. Never thought I would have to do this, but you have left me with no choice.

I am just tired. Tired of being taken advantage of. Tired of playing peacemaker. Tired of being your maid and cook. Tired of hearing about what little money you have when you spend it on needless stuff. Tired of a lack of respect for my stuff as a that is also a lack of respect for me. Tired of being tired.

END OF RANT

On a much higher note, I met with an old friend this weekend who had not been doing quite so well, but he was doing much better. Conversation was great and I left excited about his progress. Plus I had some pretty awesome food. I do love me some Gyros.

Despite the recent chaos, I would have to say this weekend was pretty awesome.

So I have a pretty awesome mother who sent me an awesome Valentines Day care package. It is pretty sweet. And it included a friggin' huge Toblerone. I forgot how much I love that stuff. Mom, you rock.

So on Friday, I saw the New Play Festival at ISU. It is three one act shows written, directed and performed by ISU theatre students. They were pretty good. The first show I watched was entertaining, but did nothing for me past the simple entertainment level. Nubbs, my TA in my Acting class, has such a humorous personality that he brought to show, making it pretty funny. The second show near put me to sleep. It was a dramatic piece that really did not inflict any kind of emotion. Less than halfway in I was looking at my watch wondering when it would wrap up up so I could see the third show. Apparently the writer and director as well as one of the actors in the show (all one guy) looked a lot like me, or I look a lot like him, whatever. See as I walked in the theatre, not one, not two, but three people at different times wanted to know if Jonathan Golembiecki's brother-the guy who did the third show. So I was rather interested to see what this guy looked like and if it would be like looking into a mirror or something. Well I really don't think this guy looked much like me at all, but that was the only thing that disappointed me about the show. The show was amazing. I was a little confused at first, but the choreography was great, and I was intrigued. The more it unfolded the more I liked the show and the more impressed I was with my apparent brother's creative talent on many levels. It was abstart and simply brilliant and showed a new perspective to stories we already knew. In short, I loved it.

Well I'll leave you with some Relient K that's always great to rock out to. Peace out.

I'm falling out of grace with the world
They say i've lost my midas touch
What turned to gold now turns to rust
I'm falling out of line with all the stars
That flood my dreams with their guitars and magazines

Face down this carpet tastes like coffee grounds
Ground into my face now
And every angle's covered with just another (band-aid)

I'm falling out of style with the current way things are
The things that make conforming hard
I'm falling out of control and you just can't stop me now
I'll fight as long as time allows

I'm out here way beyond
A shadow of a doubt
And i know i'm never falling out of favor with you

I won't think twice or even three times
About taking a gamble with you
Cause with my life you have been so kind
I take all my comfort from you

I'm out here way beyond
A shadow of a doubt
And i know i'm never falling out of favor with you

End of Blog Breakdown:
Hero: My mum
Villain: Retarded people.
Quote: Mike Moore said so many at IHOP, there is no way to recount all of them here.
Mood: :-/

Warning on a Friday Afternoon

So I was going to update last night, because I finally actually had the time to actually write a post. However Blogger's server was down. Down for an hour to update the software. But that was the hour I had. And so you get one right now. Deal with it. It's not like anyone comments anyway. For little while the Xanga commenters commented more than my Blogger commenters, but now my Xanga commenters have completely stopped.

Rant over.

So my last week or so has actualy been pretty nice. Work hasn't been too bad, I created a pretty sweet new softball cover. I would say it wasn't one of my best covers, but it certainly got the job done and looks good. Plus I now have brownies. Caramel brownies to be exact. And simply because the Steelers won the Super Bowl. And they are amaaaaaaaazing. Not mix out of a box brownies. No, made from scratch brownies. And made by my girlfriend. *sound of record player abruptly stopping* Yep, that's right, Bob is dating. And she is pretty awesome. And she made me brownies. I think she may be a keeper. But not in soccer. In soccer, she's a defender/midfielder, but that's another story. But anyway, Meagan and I made a friendly wager on the Super Bowl since she was so sure that the Seahawks were going to win. She decided she wanted brownies and since I love brownies too, I agreed, and I'm pretty sure I got the higher end of that one.

So apparently there is a Guitar Center in Terre Haute now. This makes me happier than you would believe. I need to take all forms of plastic out of my wallet and go in that store. I need new strings for my twelve string guitar, but I must make sure I don't get anything else. But they are just so pretty...

Nick and Mike will not be living out at the TSAV house next year. I thin it will be for the best for our friendship. When there are no longer those little annoyances when living together, your friendship can manage a hell of a lot better. I look forward to that. And quite frankly I think it will help the rest of this year as well. Kevin and Elliot will be moving in their room. It will be nice to have Kevin and Elliot out here. But what will we call the house? The core of TSAV has always been the four of us (Me, Rabbi, Nick and Mike), but Kevin and Elliot have always been considered a part of TSAV. Not to mention the name os the TSAV house has stuck so well, I'm not sure if it will leave anyway. We'll see. Let me know if you have any ideas for it.

POD still rocks my world. I love the CD. But Relient K has just been so fitting today. I love it. I will always be a big Relient K fan.

This weekend should be interesting.

So I am starting a fantasy baseball league through yahoo. Let me know if you are interested. It should be a good time, and no you really don't have to know much about baseball to participate. And no, it doesn't take much time out of your week at all. Just a simple five minutes, once a week. But Bob, baseball plays every day. You're right it does, but your head-to-head games are only once a week. So that's all the chance you will have to update your rosters. Once that week begins, you can't touch your roster. So let me know, just a little friendly competition.

Wel I think I'll leave you with some INcubus that has been just absolutely rockin' lately. Peace.

Bat your eyes girl
Be otherworldly
Count your blessings
Seduce a stranger
What's so wrong with being happy?
Kudos to those who see through sickness, yeah.
Over and over, and over and over, and ooooooh.

When she woke in the morning
She knew that her life had passed her by
And she called out a warning
Don't ever let life pass you by

I suggest we learn to love ourselves
Before it's made illegal
When will we learn?
When will we change?
Just in time to see it all fall down
Those left standing will make millions
Writing books on the way it should have been

When she woke in the morning
She knew that her life had passed her by
And she called out a warning
Warning, don't ever let life pass you by

Floating in this cosmic jacuzzi
We are like frogs oblivious
To the water starting to boil
No one flinches
We all float face down

When she woke in the morning
She knew that her life had passed her by
And she called out a warning
Warning, don't ever let life pass you by

End of Blog Breakdown:
Hero: Being home by myself so I can blast some music.
Villain: None at this moment.
Quote: "It's so delicious. That Bacardi flavouring
certainly makes a difference."

"Oh, yeah. Nine times out of ten."

"You know, this would be a wonderful way
to get children to drink milk." ~ Sky Masterson and Sarah Brown in Guys and Dolls
Mood: dandy

Strength Of My Life on a Monday Night

P.O.D. rocks my world. Their new CD is better than any of their other CDs. I would say they leave the old ones in the dust. Love it.

So I get to my facebook profile and all my friends are gone. Where it once listed my friends at Rose-Hulman was simply a message: "You have no friends at Rose-Hulman." Ouch, facebook. Ouch. That burns close. Now what if I was someone with self esteem problems (which God know I am not)? That could be very painful to see. Crazy facebook...

I'm in a pretty good mood tonight. I like good moods.

Maurizio's pizza is the nectar of heaven. Well, maybe not quite, but it is quite the tastiness. Any one in the Haute that has not had it yet, you must go now. It's alright, this blog post will still be up when you get back, so get going. You'll thank me later.

So the winner of the first ex to be engaged award goes to Kristen. I must say, it feels kinda weird. I mean, I am really happy for her and it sounds like the guy she is engaged to is very much perfect for her and I'm glad she found someone that makes her so happy, but it is just weird to think that someone I dated is now getting married. I'm not sure why, it just is. But congratulations, Kristen and I wish you and your future husband nothing but the best.

So my Acting professor pulled me aside today to let me know that she was going harder on me than the others because she sees a lot of potential in me. Normally, since this is beginning acting for non-theatre majors, she would completely settle for the minimum, but she is pushing me. Pushing me to grow immensely as an actor over the course of this semester. She sees me as a potential cast member in a future ISU show and since I am not a theatre major, this is her only chance to really work with me before auditioning for a show and such. So she pushes me and pushes me and shes harder on me than others, not because she hates me as she was afraid I would think, but more of the opposite. And quite frankly I am glad to have someone to push me like that. I think I have been growing as an actor a lot over even the past year or so and I love it.

Well I will leave you with some POD to rock out to. Peace.

Yo! Eternal rhythms in your system so clear.
No negative take your isms stay cleared
We keep it lovely, give you want you want hear (no you won't hear)
And Matisyahu in the house, stand clear.
P.O.D. in the house, stand clear.
If Jah is for me, tell me whom I gon' fear? (no I won't fear)
And Jah of Jacob, deserving of my love
And God of Isaac, bring blessings from above
Hashem of Abraham will show me the way
I go down on my knees and this is what I pray.

Strength Of My Life, whom shall I dread?
When them evildoers approach to devour my flesh.
Even if there would be an army against me,
My heart would not fear.

Steer clear from weird vibes.
Chuck a spear these evil guys must realize,
Even if there would rise a war against me.
In this I trust, it's a must.
Elevated is my head, above my enemy.
Surround me with the song of glory
(Yeah, Song of glory, Yeah, ohhh)

Take away the scales from my eyes
Anoint your love upon my life
Have mercy on my soul and hear me when I cry
Do not abandon me, and don't forsake me
Lead me on the path of integrity

Even if there would be an army against me,
My heart would not fear.
Strength Of My Life, whom shall I dread?
When them evildoers approach to devour my flesh.

Back them up against the wall, stumble and fall then battle y'all
And stand tall, show me favor when I call Oh-oh
Back them against the wall, stumble and them fall
Battle y'all and stand call, show me favor when I call
Oh-oh-oh, yo, Matisyahu, P.O.D.
Eternally, with his majesty
Dwelling in the songs of glory
Dwelling with the song of glory


End of Blog Breakdown:
Hero: POD
Villain: I actually cannot think of one.
Quote: "It's like disarming Germany." ~"Snaps" Provolone in Oscar
Mood: good

Open Up the Sky on a Friday Night

So many thoughts flowing in my head, and not enough room to write them.

When will you get this through your head, you are not the victim.

As predictable as you are, you still seem to amaze me.

Wow, this is sounding like a Rabbi style blog post.

First of all, Gage, you are the man and one of the funniest people at IHOP in the world. I can't wait to see those pictures. Smasher, you always crack me up. Should be fun tomorrow. And last but never least, Rabbi, congrats on making it to 21. Karaoke tonight should be a blast. And therefore, 75 points to each of you.

I love doing points.

So I found some random CD in my CD case and threw it in my car CD player. The first track was pretty rocking but I faintly recognized one of the voices and then it hit me, that was 4Him. Now how a 4Him CD got in my case, I have no idea so I started to explore the CD further. But the next song kinda sounded like Audio Adrenaline, and I realized this was a completely random mix of christian music, stuff that I hadn't listened to much in a while. And I really started rocking out to it. I really miss a lot of that music. So I am getting it back. I am getting more uplifting music I can rock out to.

[Warning: Beginning of rant]

You know what grinds my gears? People that get so shut off when they hear the term christian music. And people who are simply amazed when they hear a band that they like and then find out its a christian band. Guess what, chistian artists are very talented musicians too. They have great music, their lyrics are just a little better. And guess what these lyrics deal with some pretty deep stuff too. Well, Bob, there is some pretty bad christian bands. Of course there are. How many truly horrible secular bands have you come across recently, even ones that are popular. C'mon folks.

Another thing that drives me nuts is the assumption that because I am a Christian and like qite a few christian abnds that I will like a band simply because it is a christian band. I will respect them more as playing music from your heart and taking the risk of so many peopel not even willing to consider your music just because of the fact that its christian music, but I will not like their music blindly like that. I still like good music.

[Stepping off soap box]

Well, time for bed, but enjoy some rocking FFH. Peace out.

've had my share of heartache.
I've felt the sting of pain
From standing out in the desert
Praying for rain.
I've seen my lonely teardrops
Fall down my lonely face.
Oh, how I long to hear the
Thunder roll again.

And I want to be
Swept away in Thee.
Only You know what I need.

So, open up the sky, rain down Your love.
I don't care if I never get enough.
I just want to be caught in that flood.
So, open up the sky, yeah,
Open up the sky.

I've had my disappointments.
I've cried a time or two.
These showers of love I long for,
They only come from You.
Now I want to go deeper ,
Fall in over my head.
So, send Your Holy downpour,
And let the healing begin.

And I can't wait
To be swept away.
Only You can stop the pain.

End of Blog Breakdown:
Hero: IHOP at 2am
Villain: People blowing up when they don't knwo the half of it
Quote: There were so many at IHOP, I can't name just one.
Mood: aggrivated

Everything You Want on a Sunday Night

And then there were four. And my Colts are out. What in the world happened? This season was our season. And God is a Colts fan. How in the world can you make an assumption like that, Bob? Because how many second chances did Indy get those last few minutes of the game? An interception!!! Game is over, no wait, apparently it was really just an incomplete pass, try it again Peyton. Result? TD. Last chance and Peyton is sacked at the two yard line. Game over, no wait, fumble and we get the ball back. Colts drive down the field to set up for a game tying FG, but miss way, way, way to the right. The Colts in the last quarter were given every chance to succeed and fell short. So I guess it's not our year. If we can't win a game that gives us so many breaks like that, we don't deserve the Super Bowl.

I feel horrible. Normally, I would call her back ASAP, in an excited hurry to hear her voice. But not this time. I can't. I need time.

Why is this so hard? We never dated. Ever. But sometimes it feels like August all over again.

I am loving Vertical Horizon right now. Fits my mood well right now. The song today just rings so true to me right now. I love it.

Where did I go wrong? We used to be such good friends, and talked all the time, for hours on end. Now we only talk if one of us is going through a rough time, and often not even then. Since when did we become too busy to talk...at all?

Random Humor from my Calendar:
Actual Things Asked of Librarians
Can you tell me why so many famous Civil War battles were fought on National Park sites?

I was here about three weeks ago looking at a cookbook that cost $39.95. Can you tell me which one it is?

Which outlets in the library are appropriate for my hairdryer?

Why must you assume that you did something wrong? No, I am not going to yell at you and no, that is not acceptable behavior. So things didn't go as I wanted, that's not your fault and if I chewed you out for it, it would be a bastardish thing on my part. I love you. Always have, always will. Above all, I want you to be happy, and if that means woth some else and not me, so be it. Sometimes when it comes to happiness you have to be a little selfish and choose what makes you happiest. And I support that path. And no, I am not going to get mad at you for it.

Cast party last night was a blast. I love having the drama club people over. It is always such a good time. I also enjoyed getting to know a few of our freshmen. They are pretty cool guys.

Killer will be leaving us soon. That will be rather sad. I didn't realize how much I'm gonna miss her until this week when you realize she's actually leaving, and probably for good. Kinda crazy. But we are going to throw her one helluva going away party.

Well, bedtime for me, although I don't have class tomorrow. Hooray for State schools celebrating holidays. Peace.

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song Playing: "Everything You Want" ~Vertical Horizon
Hero: State schools and holidays
Villain: Beer bottle that was thrown at my car and broke my windsheild
Quote: In real life, when you kill someone, they die...for real.
Mood: mixed

Privilege on a Thursday Night

Wow, still sore. I am not in shape. But this is what I am working at. I am working to prove that I an be more than this. So since it is me putting myself through this, no more bitching about being sore.

Incubus rocks my socks off. That is all I have to say.

I love finally being able to talk to Holly. It is really nice to finally be able to now that I have the balls to. Most of you don't realize I used to be rather shy. And by rather shy I mean incredibly shy to the point that I could not talk to most girls. At all. Couldn't force the words out of my mouth. This was especially the case with Holly. I had a huge crush on her the moment I laid eyes on her in first grade. I can't even imagine what kind of idiot I must have seemed to her, when she would begin to talk to me and I would freeze up completely. Imagine talking to a person pretending to be a statue. I tried talking, I swear, but nothing happened. My mouth would forget how to move, until she got bored or annoyed or confused as hell, or any combination of the three. Then I would go bang my head against the closest wall/random solid object. I don't know what my problem was, I was an idiot. This began to leave me in Junior High, but Holly moved away. So by the time I had grown out of that horribly awkward phase, it was too late. But Facebook has given me another chance to make it so that her last memory of me is not me being stupid.

Oh the things people will say when they don't think it will get back to you. Just an FYI, the truth always gets out.

Just wondering, does anyone actually read the lyics I post here, or should I just leave it as the song in my end of blog breakdown? Or does anyone actually care? Just taking a poll, because I'm not gonna search out the lyrics if everyone just skips over them anyway. So for tonight, no lyrics and we'll see what you think.

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song Playing: "Privilege" Incubus
Hero: Enchiladas
Villain: High School games in overtime before the game you are working
Quote: From my 365 Stupidest Things Ever Said Calendar: On pity they don't sell brains there, "Do they sell walls there?" ~Paris Hilton
Mood: sore

Stars on a Tuesday Night

So it's over. Over before it really began. She doesn't have any feelings for me. Never has, never will. So I guess I'm just gonna have to get over her. It's hard though when one girl possesses everything you are looking for a in a girl. And I do mean everything. That doesn't happen very often, if ever. But there is nothing I can do about, but move on.

I went to auditions for a few ISU plays last night. It was fun. It was a couple of firsts for me. It was the first time I had ever competed with theatre majors as well as the first time I had ever auditioned without knowing a few people there already. At 8 that night, they posted callbacks to begin immediately, and then the cast lists this morning. I didn't make any of the shows, but I did make callbacks, and I consider that a success. I competed with theatre majors, people whow are really good--this is what they do, and was able to hang in with them. My goal: to make a show before graduation. We'll see how that goes.

Started a workout schedule today. Went well. I'm going to be so sore tomorrow, but so worth it. I am finally going to bulk up a little and hopefully gain some weight while I'm at it. I weighed myself in the locker room today to see where I am. 162.2 lbs. 17.8 lbs to go. This will be one way to see how my progress is going. I need to get a hold of my old football coach for my old weight lifting schedule. I want something designed around how much I'm lifting now and is designed to build muscle mass. Maybe I'll just go to the football coach here and see what the football players here are on at least.

One of these days, I will understand women. Jesus and I will chuckle about it in my mansion, about how the female mind is even more proof of the sense of humor God has, and how understanding it in heaven doesn't do ya that much good.

Finally got those pictures developed. It's only been a few months now. Check out the pictures on facebook in the next couple of days.

311 just hits the spot tonight. Thanks, Katie, for introducing me to this band.

Speaking of bands, I am gonna miss going to the River Homegrown Show at the Phoenix. They had some pretty awesome bands there and what totally rocks....no cover charge. I saw some sweet bands for FREE. And they are there every Thursday at the Phoenix. We need one of those around here. It is pretty sweet. So all who are in St Louis on a Thursday, do yourself a favor and go get hooked. You can discover some pretty good bands while you'e at it. And if you go this Thursday, another bonus, by friend Brad's band, the State will be playing. So don't sit at home, go!!

You're welcome Brad.

Already had my first day of clases this term at ISU, and I must say, I'm rather liking it. I have four, read it--four, computer science classes and I love it. No retarded classes so far. I think I may rather enjoy this semester.

Anyone up for a good cup of coffee? That just sounds wonderful right now. Good coffee, good conversation. Just escape the crappiness of Terre Haute and enjoy the intellectual beauty of the friends that make me love this place.

It feels great to switch my desktop. A much lighter feel.

This is getting long. So I think I will simply leave you with some Switchfoot to rock out to. I love this song. Maybe it's because I love to just lay outside and look at the stars. Nothing is more relaxing.

Maybe I've been the problem
Maybe I'm the one to blame
But even when I turn it off
And blame myself
The outcome feels the same
I've been thinkin'
Maybe I've been partly cloudy
Maybe I'm the chance of rain
Maybe I'm overcast
And maybe all my lucks
Washed down the drain

I've been thinking 'bout everyone
Everyone you look so lonely

But when I look at the stars,
when I look at the stars,
when I look at the stars I see someone else
When I look at the stars,
the stars, I feel like myself

Stars lookin at our planet
Watching entropy and pain
And maybe start to wonder how
The chaos in our lives could pass as sane
I've been thinking bout
The meaning of resistance
Of a hope beyond my own
And suddenly the infinite
And penitent begin to look like home

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song Playing: "All Mixed Up" ~311
Hero: The Packard Bell
Villain: The freezer door
Quote: A lot of stuff, that I can't remember.
Mood: confused

Why Don't You and I on a Friday Night

I did. I finally did it. I said it. I said what I needed to say and it's all finally out there. And it went well. I think. Time will tell, but I am very happy about where we are now.

I had a good time tonight. We went out to dinner at Applebee's (after finding that TGI Friday's had an hour and a half wait) and then came back to the house. I picked up Amy on the way home and we hung out there for a while, playing Disney's Scene It. It was fun. Amy and I were both brought up so much on Disney movies. And then after that, we went back to her house to watch "Bedknobs and Broomsticks" and talk a little. It was nice to hang out with her like that.

I saw an old friend today at Sears. I hadn't seen her since I had graduated, so it was really nice to see her again. We did a lot of catching up. She is one of the people I have known the longest as we went to kindergarten together and was one of the kids I hung out with most in kindergarten. A lot has happened since graduation. She is now married to an Army Lt. in Iraq, and will be finishing up her degree in may of 07 to join him out in Germany where he will be stationed.

Some people amaze me at their ability to not think past themselves.

This one isn't quite as long as normal, but I must be getting to bed soon. I have a long drive ahead of me tomorrow to the Haute. For now I will leave you with some of the magic that is Santana. Enjoy.

Since the moment I spotted you
Like walking 'round with little wings on my shoes
My stomach's filled with the butterflies
And it's alright
Bouncing round from cloud to cloud
I got the feelin' like I'm never gonna come down
If I said I didn't like it then you know I'd lied

Every time I try to talk to you
I get tongue-tied
Turns out, everything I say to you
Comes out wrong and never comes out right

So I'll say why don't you and I get together an' take on the world, be together forever
Heads we will and tails we'll try again
So I say why don't you and I hold each other, fly to the moon
and straight on to heaven
Cause without you they're never gonna let me in

When's this fever gonna break ?
I think I've handled more than any man can take
I'm like a love-sick puppy chasing you around
And it's alright
Bouncin' round from cloud to cloud
I got the feeling like I'm never gonna come down
If I said I didn't like it then you know I'd lied

Slowly I begin to realize this is never gonna end
But about the same time you walk by
And I say oh here we go again, oh

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song Playing: "Wish You Were Here" Incubus
Hero: Amy
Villain: Retarded people (Not naturally of course)
Quote: "Life happens" ~Rabbi
Mood: annoyed, but happy

Resolution on a Wednesday Night

2006. A new year. Beginning fresh. New. I love it. A time to begin once again with a fresh slate. Brand new.

Normally, in the first post of the year, I would make some New Years resolutions that I could never actually accomplish, or just make them so vague that who knows if I actually did it or not. I'm gonna work out more. I'm gonna be a better person. How much is more or better? How do I know if I accomplished these goals? Or is that the point? Am I setting my sights too high? If I make them measurable will I fail horribly or am I gonna just be too easy on myself so I can accomplish them? Not this year. Screw New Years resolutions. Let's make new month resolutions. Smaller timespan to work towards. Maybe I set my sights too high and didn't think about how little time I would have. Maybe I was just retarded when I thought these up. Or maybe I was way too easy on myself and need to step it up to make it realistic. Either way, gives me time to evaluate how I am doing and make new resolutions.

Then there is the debate about whether or not to make it private or public. You don't want the world to know where you are lacking. But if you simply keep them to yourself, who will hold you accountable to them? So I decided to read the Bible once a day, since afterall it is what defines my faith, but if I don't who's ever gonna know? No, no, it is always best to have someone to hold you accountable. So where's that perfect middle ground. Well, I have a few basic resolutions that I will make public, and then a few that I will only disclose to my closest friends.

1. Work out at least 3 times a week. I want to get back into the shape I was when I played football, even stronger than that.

2. Read my Bible daily. This is the book that defines my beliefs. No more faith without knowing why. If I don't understand something I will search thouroughly for it. And maybe not just the Bible either. I encourage anyone to question everything I believe, because if I can't back up what I believe, then it needs some work and some true searching on my part for an acceptable answer.

3. Read at least two credible news sources each day. I want to have a better understanding of the issues hitting the world today.

4. Get 6-8 hours of sleep a day. No more, no less. Any less than that and I will not be able to function well. Any more than that, and I am wasting a day away.

5. Not miss a single class each week. This is a tough one, especially when I miss a class and it doesn't hurt me much at all. So I will need TSAV to hold me true to this one.

Texas defeats the high and mighty USC. And the peasants rejoice. The Ohio State played a great game and showed why they are one of the top college football teams. Not discounting the game that Notre Dame played. They played well, just not as good as OSU. All in all, a great year in Bowls for the BCS bowl games. Duke sucks.

I wish I could just tell her how I truly feel. That every moment I spend with her are some of the best of moments of my life. That every gaze at her, I am captured by her beauty all over again. That her voice can brighten my day, no matter how crappy my day may be going. But I am afraid. Afraid of rejection. Again. And I don't want to lose what we have right now if I don't have the chance to pursue more. A chance is all I want, but is that too much?

It is rather too bad that more people didn't want to participate in the reflect on the past year/favorite memory with Bob thing. I was kinda curious about what some people would put. Oh well. I wonder if more people would have done it if Mahoney had started it...

So just before I left the Haute to come home for break, I worked on an awesome Track guide cover. It was due Wednesday by noon, so I started it on Monday. This would give me all of Monday and Tuesday to get this done. Well, I am working on it for abouf eight hours and my Comcrap senior laptop decides to take a crap on me and freeze up and quit on me. Now as brilliant as I am, I had not saved it at all up to this point, so everything I had done was lost. I was so frustrated, I gave up for the night. So Tuesday I get up and start working on it for a few hours, then had to take Lindsey to the airport. I get back and work on it for an hour, then I need to grill these wonderful steaks we had for Steak 'n Beer night. After dinner I work on it a little more, until the idea of bowling comes up. I love bowling and don't get to do it much. So of course I go. When I get back, it's time to work on it straight. This is around 11. By the time I finish it is 7am. And I am so happy to not only be finally done with it, as being a perfectionist has caused it to take forever, but because I think it is one of the best covers I have done, if not the best. Truly something to be proud of and worth the 22 hours spent on it. Then Wednesday morning I get an email back from Kevin telling me that he absolutely loved it and thought it was one of my best covers and that the entire office loved it, but (and this is a big but) Coach hated it. He hated it. He gave me two requirements. One-that he wanted to highlight the SRC, our awesome facilities. To show off what an awesome $21 million complex we have. He wanted it big as possibly the background, but he wanted it to be a main part of the cover. Two-that he only wanted returning runners on the cover. I followed these and followed it well. But he hated it. He hated that R with the elephant was on there. He hated that the SRC was so big on it and it looked like some space station or a television station or something. (Note: This SRC picture is the exact same picture as the one on the cover last year) He hated that some runners on there didn't work as hard as the others. As if I should know this. So now, when we once had an awesome cover with some breathing room, we have no time and nothing to go from. There was nothing he liked about it. We had to scrap it all and go again from scratch. What he wanted was an identical cover to my Women's Basketball cover. Now I hate reusing even the same concept at all, but even more in the same year for different sports. It takes away from the uniqeness and the eye catchiness of the original. It just looks like a copy. I hate doing this. I loathe doing this. But since I no longer have enough time to do another, Kevin throws something together last minute that has no hope of looking near as good as the cover I had created. Needless to say, I am rather pissed.

On a much brighter note, I didn't have to work on the baseball cover near as long and produced a much more appreciated cover. I modeled the baseball cards after a few of my own baseball cards and created a nice template for them. Kevin and I had been talking about this idea as it would be cool if I could pull it off, and I did. When Kevin showed it to Coach Jenkins, he loved it and said he wouldn't change a thing, and his assistant coach said he thought it was the best I've ever done. It is definately one of my favorite ones. I think I am really growing as a graphic designer. I have created covers for eight different sports and had eight different design ideas. I am creating quite the portfolio to show future employers should I decide to head in the direction of Sports Information.

The 24 hour play festival in St Louis was a blast. I have definately grown a bit as an actor. I love doing stuff like that. I received one of the best compliments I think I have ever received that a friend of mine, a guy who will never bullshit around with ya, felt that after watching me in this past show, that he would not be afraid of throwing me in any role and expecting me to carry the show and that it has been incredible watching me grow as an actor over the past year. This guy was my writer last time, so this means a lot to hear it from him. A few of the Chicago theatre majors that were there wanted to know if I went to Columbia or DePaul, and wouldn't believe me when I told them I was a CS. It was just one of those shows that I left feeling great and a real sense of accomplishment. It was just so much fun to watch a show come together like that. I love spending so much time with theatre too. Good times.

Well, I think I'm gonna head to bed, but I will leave you with some Supertones that just seemed too appropriate.

I've meant to do this for some time
I've gotta get it right this time
This time my God I will be Yours,
All my heart, my soul, and mind
Been so long since I truly smiled
But You touched my heart today
Reached through my mind of mud and mire
Consumed the idols in Your way
So I am brand new Today, I make my resolution

Been down so long that is seems like up,
I took it now I've had enough
Of the life that I've been livin'
It feels so cold this far away
So Today I will make a change
I will make a change today
Purge my mind of mud and mire
Cast all my gods away
I am brand new today, I make my resolution

Looking back the way I used to be
It was just me and God
Can I be there again?
Today I make my resolution

Since Adam has stopped doing the end of blog breakdown and I loved that, I am stealing it. Although is it stealing since he is longer doing it?

End of Blog Breakdown:
Song Playing: "The Phase That Pays" The Academy Is...
Hero: 24 Hour Play Festivals
Villain: Coach Larry Cole
Quote: "Fear the straw" ~Dave Carr
Mood: accomplished

Finale B on a Tuesday Night

Kinda aggrivated right now. It just seems like giving your word means nothing these days. There are just some people that have made it hard to trust that they will do something any more.

So I had an excellent blog post last night. Then my laptop freaked out and froze up and I lost it all. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. I really need to build this new computer. That will be a good day.

So I got a digital camera for Christmas. I am rather excited about it. Plenty of pictures to come.

Went to see The Chronicles of Narnia: the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe yesterday with the family. I rather enjoyed it and would recommend it to all. Another thing I have been enjoying a lot lately, "Three Nights in August: Strategy, Heartbreak, and Joy Inside the Mind of a Manager" by Tony LaRussa and Buzz Bissinger. Such an awesome book. A must read for any baseball fan out there. You never realize just how much strategy is thought about over the course of a season by a manager and what integral part of baseball the manager is.

Rather aggrivated with other people right now. Grrrrrr. I would say more, but it would only make things worse.

I will just leave you with some more Rent to rock out to. I love these lyrics.

There Is No Future - There Is No Past

Thank God This Moments Not The Last

There's Only Us
There's Only This
Forget Regret
Or Life Is Yours To Miss

No Other Road
No Other Way
No Day But Today

I Can't Control (Will I Lose My)
My Destiny (Dignity)
I Trust My Soul (Will Someone)
My Only Goal (Care)
Is Just To Be (Will I Wake)
(Tomorrow)
Without You (From This)
The Hand Gropes (Nightmare)
The Ear Hears
The Pulse Beats (There's Only Now)
Life Goes On (There's Only Here)
But I'm Gone (Give In To Love)
Cause I Die (Or Live In Fear)
Without You (No Other Path)
I Die Without You (No Other Way)
I Die Without You (No Day But Today)
No Day But Today (No Day But Today)
I Die Without You (No Day But Today)

No Day But Today

First Straw on a Chrstmas Eve

Almost Christmas. Kinda excited. Watching Phantom of the Opera with my family. Such a wonderful movie. I love it. Some how my parents made it this far through life without ever seeing any version of the Phantom. I am happy to help them with this.

Got to talk to my older brother Chad tonight. It was nice. I think this is going to be a wonderful Christmas.

Hung out with Amy today. It was nice as always to see her again. We shopped for my brother and then just hung out at her house for a while. We didn't do much over there, but it was just nice to hang out for a while. It's always fun to see her little brothers too. They are like a second set of little brothers to me. I love them. And they are still small enough that I can wrestle them, without it becoming competitive. Although with my real brothers, not much is not competitive.

Last night, we went to the Main Street Jazz & Blues club to see Farmer's Tan Market, a band of some old West grads including Ian Randall, Jordan Bay and Paxton Rodgers, all good friends of mine in high school. It was nice to see them. It was crazy there. Like a high school reunion, nearly every person I hung out with at West came out for the show. It was great. Even Danny O'Donnell and John Mackin were there, reuniting our old junior high group. Kinda crazy.

Still trying to figure some things out, but they are looking better. Got to talk to my little sister the other night about it and I think I have some things figured out.

Played Jimmy in chess tonight. It was fun. The kid is getting better. I helped him read the board a little better and I think it helped him a little. I probably sound like a nerd, but I have missed playing a good game of chess. I should get my hands on a board. If I do, any takers?

I've been talking to Erin O'Connor a lot online, lately. It's been fun. Turns out we have a lot in common, besides that whole she's nuts about country thing. Just a good time talking, and it's nice.

Well time to get some sleep. I'll leave you with some 311 to rock out to, but for now, Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

Oh a whole new way of looking at things
The way you react to phone rings
The way it feels when you just let it flow
Sometimes I wonder just how it could be
You take every bit before we see it off the rails
I think that you should know

You never cease to amaze me
You keep me from going crazy
And that's one thing I know for sure
Sometimes I see just how it all will be
Take every bit it's so easy the first straw
And this I know for sure

The first straw
So small it seemed impossible
The next straw
Vanished like shooting stars that fall
The last straw
There's no reason for getting there at all

The last straw can land in your mix
Your best day could be apocalypse
Nobody pay attention to the first straw
It seems the last one is all we ever saw
The first straw's a metaphore I pick up myself
It tells me something by showing me something else
I think that you should know

Everyone reacts when it gets to the weight of breaking their back
I won't let that be us cause the long side never gave back

Santa Fe on a Monday Night

Still waiting on comments from a few people. Just so that you, I know who reads my blog, so please comment and then reflect on your own year.

So the Guys & Dolls cast list came out and it is kind of sad. Not sad because of who is on it, but because once again Rose is doing one of my all-time favorite shows and my name is not on it. Guys & Dolls is my favorite musical. Ever. My favorite play is Picasso and I had to watch my school do that and not be able to be a part of it. That's hard to do, especially when I introduced the show to the director because I originally wanted to direct it. And now Rose finally doe my favorite musical and I can't be a part of it. It's gonna be hard watching all of my friends go to play practice for my favorite show while I have to stay home. Maybe I can convince Bunny to let me be her assistant director or something. Someone to bounce ideas off of, to help organize, just a second hand man. We'll see what she says. Maybe I'll wait to see what kind of work load I have next semester first, but if it's anything close to this semester, I'll be bored out of my mind anyway.

A lot of new freshmen on this show. Hopefully this means there is a lot of new talent for RDC. I should tap into that for the 24 hour play festival.

Speaking of the 24 hour play festival, I am really excited about how many people have committed to it. We are 2 people away from being able to do 6 shows. We have 7 writers committed, a few who have never written a play, but other genres of creative writing so I gave them a prop and a cast to write a show for for practice. I can't wait to see what they come up with. We have quite a creative group. Should be great.

I am getting tired of this. I am not your mother. Why is doing your own dishes such a hard thing? Cups should not sit on the counter for a couple weeks. Take just a little responsibility for what you do. Everyone is so damned concerned about doing their share and only their share that they rarely even do their share. This isn't a hard concept. We are in friggin' college. How hard is this? You may not be the culprit all the time, but you are by no means completely innocent.

Tomorrow is Steak and Beer night. Sounds like a good time. And then I get to drive home. I am looking forward to this. Being home should be a nice change of pace. I have so many people to see, so little time. It will also be nice to have some quality family time.

It amazes me the number of long term relationships that ended this month or recently. I almost feel like my world is crashing down around me. I am just so confused.

Been in such a 311 mood. I have so much of their music from Katie that I have never listened to. So I started going through all of my music last night and found that as much as I love quite a few of their song, I don't particularly care for quite a few of them as well. In fact there are very few that I am middle ground on. I either love it or don't care to listen to it.

I have many new year's resolutions, although I doubt I'll ever post a few of them. But I'll post some of them later. Now isn't the right time for it. But I still want to see your reflections on the year and your favorite memory with me this year. I know who you are.

I should get some sleep, but I will leave you with some Rent to rock out to.

New York City

Uh huh

Center of the universe

Sing it, girl

Times are shitty, but I'm pretty sure they can't get worse

I hear you

It's a comfort to know
When you're singing the hit the road blues
That anywhere else you could possibly go
After New York would be
A pleasure cruise

Now you're talking!
Well I'm thwarted by a metaphysic puzzle
And I'm sick of grading papers, that I know
And I'm shouting in my sleep, I need a muzzle
All this misery pays no salary, so
Let's open up a restaurant in Santa Fe
Oh, sunny Santa Fe would be nice
Let's open up a restaurant in Santa Fe
And leave this to the roaches and mice

You teach?

I teach- computer age philosophy
But my students would rather watch TV

America
America!

You're a sensitive aesthete
Brush the sauce onto the meat
You could make the menu sparkle with rhyme
You could drum a gentle drum
I could seat guests as they come
Chatting not about heidegger, but wine

Let's open up a restaurant in Santa Fe
Our labors would reap financial gains

Gains, gains, gains

We'll open up a restaurant in Santa Fe
And save from devastation our brains

Save our brains

We'll pack up all our junk and fly so far away
Devote ourselves to projects that sell
We'll open up a restaurant in Santa Fe
Forget this cold Bohemian hell

Do you know the way to Santa Fe?
You know, tumbleweeds... prairie dogs...
Yeah

Poor Jud is Daid, Poor Jud Fry is Daid......

So Sunday Night Dinner is dead. How sad and how it will be missed. Sunday Night Dinner was that time of the weekend we all looked forward to and when things just slowed down getting ready to return to the weekdays. When six close friends could just sit down and enjoy a fabulous meal and one of these friends could show off their mad cooking skills or try out a new recipe. Every week it was different, but always something to look forward to. And now it rests in peace. I don't want to insult the newly lain SND, but I would like to start another dinner group. I kinda saw SND's death coming, making it much easier to get over. And I want to begin a new group, fresh. Any takers? Doesn't have to be on Sundays. Let me know what works best for you. :-)

As I was driving back yesterday, I was reflecting on this year and I would have to say it has been a good year. Got a real job in CS and live in my own house (as in mot my parents'). I fell in love and then suffered a hard break up, at which my friends showed me just how much they cared by dropping everything to help me through that night. Sure they had better things to do than go grab a few smoothies and chill on the dock, especially since it was around 1 am and they both had to be up early for work the next morning. But that's marking of a true friend, who will see you in need and drop everything else and even sacrifice sleep, for you. I also made great connections in my field and started a job in the Sports Information department that has made me think more about my future. I have applied for a dream job with the Cardinals (still crossing my fingers for that one). I have reconnected with so many old friends through theFacebook and had great times with new and old friends alike. I watched my Cardinals have an amazing year and fall short in the playoffs, but have someone to go nuts with me during it, even though I'm in Terre Haute and rumor has it she has an Astros tattoo, but I have never seen it. I turned 21 this year and felt old as can be. I watched a little brother graduate from high school and leave home for the Air Force Academy. I participated in a one of a kind theatre project, got a couple friends involved and began a project to bring it to Rose. I directed and produced my first full-length play in the form of a dinner theatre and directed and produced one of the best evening of one acts Rose-Hulman has ever seen. Thrown some of the best cast parties RDC has seen as well. Actually went somewhere for spring break and had a blast there for about the best spring break ever. Swam in the ocean without being stung b a jellyfish, woot. Switched schools and majors once again. Won awards for my work on the media guides, including a best in the nation, something to be very proud of.

Now I pass it to you. Everyone who reads this, please post a comment of your favorite memory with me this year and then reflect on the year in your blog. It's been a great year, so this should be fun.

Stolen from Elaine:
Open iTunes/iPod or Windows Media Player(or Winamp) to answer the following. Go to your library. Answer, no matter how embarrassing it is.

How many songs?
2251

Days worth of music?
5.9

Size of music?
16.09 GB

Sort by song title:
-First song: 17 Magazine - Relient K
-Last Song: Youth of the Nation - P.O.D.

Sort by time:
-Shortest Song: 0:07 Speech: Paul - the Beatles
-Longest Song: 18:05 Hilikus - Incubus

Sort by album:
-First Album: 1 - the Beatles
-Last Album: Young & the Hopeless - Good Charlotte

Top Five Most Played Songs:
1. Creatures (For a While) - 311
2. Other Side of Things - 311
3. Crack the Code - 311
4. Reconsider Everything - 311
5. The Phrase that Pays - The Academy Is...

First song that comes up on Shuffle:
The Miracle - Queen

Search...

"Sex", how many songs come up?
67

"Blood", how many songs come up?
5

"Death", how many songs come up?
2

"Love", how many songs come up?
76

"You", how many songs come up?
235

"It", how many songs come up?
553

"f@#%", how many songs come up?
0

"Existentialism", how many songs come up?
0

[Note:] Since this isn't a normal post, I will not be leaving lyrics, but will return to the normal format next post.

Just One on a Sunday Night

How someone could be so cruel to someone so sweet simply boggles my mind. How could the sight of her tears not make you just melt? I wish I knew what to do. I want to just break him.

So this weekend overall was a good weekend. It was fun meeting Anne. How much she reminded me of Jennah was scary. That's right, Jennah, if you are reading this, I found your long lost twin!! Their faces are similar, but their smiles and laugh are identical. It was so weird. And their personalities were very similar as well. It was uncanny.

So that's what a real dance team looks like. Illinois College's dance team was excellent. Their routines were reminiscant of my old high school's team that regularly were the best in the state of Illinois. And at timeouts they had dances to quick 30 seconds bits of songs on the sidelines. And it looked great. They even did a dance to "Sadie Hawkins Dance" during one of the timeouts. I finally got to see Amy dance, and was very glad I did.

So I don't have class all week till Firday when I have my CS final. Who's up for a trip IC for Amy's play Wednesday night? It will just be a one-nighter, we will return here that night after the show. I really want to go, but it's a long drive solo in one night. So if you want to go, let me know and we'll do this.

Colts are 13-0, baby. To the remaining three teams, bring it.

Wow, the Rams sucked it up, again. At least the Colts are doing well.

So applied for my dream internship with the Cardinals today. MLB.com has an opportunity to do what I am currently doing at Rose, but with the Cardinals. If I get this, I will be on cloud nine. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Illinois has some messed up city names. Illiopolis?? And I definately passed a sign that sign Home-6 mi. How did they know?

Wow, a 16 year old with two kids, one of which is 3. I mention to someone that she obviously didn't learn with the first kid and was attacked. Learned?? Do you think she chose that???? No she didn't choose to get pregnant, but she did make some decisions that got her pregnant in the first place. I understand people make mistakes, but after you make a mistake that causes you to be a parent before high school, wouldn't you think back and be like what actions got me here in the first place, and maybe I need to stop that or at least be more careful about it. You would think you would better understand the consequences of your actions when you already have one child. And yes, unless it was a rape, she made decisions causing her to be pregnant. She wasn't walking home from school and magically pregnant.

It amazes me the things that people do sometimes and with little respect for other people's belongings.

Well, I think I will leave you with some Hoobastank that I have been enjoying. Enjoy.

I wanna live
I wanna leave
I wanna open up and breath
I wanna go
I wanna be
I wanna feel it constantly
Gotta show
Gotta stay
I've gotta feeling that won't go away
I've gotta know
If they got away
My oppertunities

Just one,
Chance is all I ever wanted
Just one,
Time I'd like to win the game
From now on,
I'd take the chance if I can have it
Just one, just one

I need to think
I need to feed
I need to see if I still bleed
I need a place
I need a time
Cause I need to step outside that line
Gonna give
Gonna take
I'm gonna scream till I'm awake
I'm gonna push
Gonna pull
Open up the door

Just one,
Chance is all I ever wanted
Just one,
Time I'd like to win the game
From now on,
I'd take the chance if I can have it
Just one, just one

And if I knew
When the door was open
I'd go through
I would go on through
And I can say
What I do never be the same
Never be the same

Just one,
Chance is all I ever wanted
Just one,
Time I'd like to win the game
From now on,
I'd take the chance if I can have it
Just one, just one

Just one,
I'd take the chance if I can have it
Just one,
I'd take the chance if I can have it
Just one,
I'd take the chance if I can have it
Just one, just one

Fire on a Sunday Night

So I may have done a stupid thing. Hmmmmm, well you live, you learn.

I haven't been to Fountain Square in a long time. Who is up for it? We wil get something together before Christmas break.

If there is one math I like best, I think its Discrete Mathematics (Disco). I wish I had taken that over Linear Algebra last year. Disco is like the math of common sense. I love it.

Wow, I am definately a nerd.

Ever start talking with someone from high school that you didn't talk with much when you were in high school with them and now you talk all the time making you wonder why the hell you didn't hang out more when you lived in the same city?

I need a good book for break. Any suggestions?

Apple-banana bread. Who would have thought. Kudos to Nick for making it. 25 points to you.

Hmmmm, its been a while since I've given out some points. So here we go. 50 points to Mike for becoming 21 and a blast this weekend. 40 points to Rabbi for saving your own ass by being too drunk (who woulda thought?). 30 points to all who came to the party last night. 35 points to Amy for a great phone call and nice talk last night. 50 points for anyone who came to our party from out of town. Those are true friends who don't let distance get in the way. You all rock. 25 points to all who put money in the blender. You guys keep us running. 25 points a piece to Elliot and Dani for some awesome togas and drinking out of a Vietnamese vase. I mean, that's just impressive. -15 points to any wrestler that asked me a stupid question this weekend (is wrestling like marijuana? I swear these wrestlers seemd to have lost more brain cells than any stoner I have ever met). -20 points to any coach/wrestler that was more high maintenance this weekend than a girl on the OC. 60 points to Amanda Parsons-Twesten for helping me hold onto that thing I call sanity. You very much rock. 20 points to Lindsey for Twister, the ultimate party game. 45 points to Danielle for writing an awesome play and 25 points to anyone that was in it/helped out. That was a blast. I miss acting so much, so it was great to work with you all again. another 15 points to anyone that took time to see me over Thanksgiving break, I miss you all. 35 points to Danny for getting me rehooked on the Supertones. 30 points to Brad for some good late night talks. Much appreciated. And lastly, an additional 25 points to anyone who posts a quote inside joke of ours to make me laugh and 15 to anyone to use the word "pickle" creatively in a comment.

Well I think that is all for now. So I will leave you with some Supertones. Enjoy.

Here is a question,
Who are the pure?
What is the thing you're livin' for?

The world says to grow up 'cause nothin' is true,
What I believe is right for me,
And what you believe is right for you,

Some call it a new day,
I call it the ice age,
They belive in nothing,
We I believe in one thing.
They're afraid to be inspired,
All that we desire is fire,

Same old deception in a brand new disguise.
What's good and evil?
You decide,

God says who he is,
And no one is higher,
God is true while men are liars.
God dosn't change with your desires,

The they get defensive,
Truth is so offensive.
They believe in nothing,
We believe in onr thing.
Afraid to be inspired,
All that we desire is fire,

Fire is faith and passion,
Fire is tranformation,
So do you wanna cool it?
Fan the flame when it glows,
They're afraid to be inspired,
All that we desire is fire.

In Between on a Wednesday Night

First of all, I'd like to apologize to my parents for going off about them before my facts were straight. I needed to vent and wanted to cool down before talking to them as when I did, I wnated to be clear headed so it could be a calm conversation and not just blow up and conversations with my parents have before. But I probably should not have made that vent public and for that I apologize.

Second of all, if you ahve something to say to me, something to criticize me for, something you want me to take remotely serious, back it up with a name or at least make sure you are right when you attack something like whether or not lyrics are correct or not. Anyone who plans to leave an anonymous comment, realize it won't be taken seriously at all.

Ever had a conversation with someone where you wonder if you are both speaking the same language? Ever have an argument with someone where you both are using the same logic to prove different points, causing you to wonder if its the same logic after all?

I went on a walk tonight and for the first time in a long time, it really didn't help. But it did make me wonder about something I hadn't really thought about, so I will take a poll: Do you think I am intense?

Been loving the OC Supertones lately. Such awesome music. I had forgotten about them. I just love rediscovering great bands.

"Why haven't you updated yet?" Because I almost feel like no one has read it. No one commented. Nothing I wrote affected you causing you to comment. See I hate updating before anyone has commented on the current post. Then I'm afraid no one will think to comment on that one. Maybe I'm weird, but if you want me to update more often, comment. It's kind of a positive feedback kind of thing. If I get a lot comments, I will update even more often, because then I feel like people care more.

Some people just intrigue me to no end. And I love it. I love getting to know someone and just seeing what makes them tick and why it does. I could sit down with a total stranger and probably enjoy just getting to know them. I may not want to be best friends afterwards, but I would enjoy the conversation. So if you want to talk or simply grab a nice cup of coffee, let me know, I'd love to pick your brain.

So I know I want to do something about it, but as to what, I am not sure. It seems like it could be so perfect, but I only totally understand it from my point of view. Something to ponder.

Ever hear someone sing/whistle the harmony to a song you can't hear? I swear thats just like female logic sometimes. I sure it would make sense and not just sound like a jumbled mess if I knew what was going on in your head.

Well not much more, so I will leave you with some awesome Supertones. And if you think the lyrics are wrong....bring it.

Please allow me to introduce me.
Half of me slave, the other half free.
Righteous and sinful,
both at the same time.
Iniquity and purity
fill up the same mind.
And out of the same mouth,
the holy and profane.
I curse all my brothers,
then I bless Christ's name.
I hang in the balance,
but still I'm secure.
I'm leaning towards evil,
but striving to be pure.

I stand between the saint and
sinner, chasing after holiness, close
enough to grasp, but still it's just
beyond my reach.

Who I am is in between,
what I wanna be and what I am.
Pulling from both sides,
humility and pride.
One seeks to give,
the other to be gratified.
In any case, however,
I know I'm in need.
Two appetites in me,
which one do I feed?
Running fast as I can
after elusive perfection.
No I'm not there yet,
but sure I'm in the right direction.
Cuz I see me at the end
and I look glorified.
Justified safe inside,
so I seek to be sanctified

Little Man on a Sunday Night

There are no absolutes in life, except that driving around the holidas will make you crazy. On 70 from St. Louis to Terre Haute, I swear people must think that the lanes have changed and that you chill in the left lane and pass on the right. Where did these people learn to drive? I passed 25 cars on a stretch where I was the only car in the right lane as far as I could see, but these cars were lined up, one right after aother in the left, just chilling there, going about 65. People are so afriad to pass on the right. Now it shouldn't happen, but sometimes people are retarded and you have to. It should be illegal to get passed on the right. Or maybe have a three strike system. If you are ever passed on the right 3 times on a trip, you get a ticket. There is no reason you should ever get passed on the right if you are paying attention. If it happens every once in a while, I can see that, thats why you get three strikes. But if it happens more than that you are just being an asshat and should not have a license.

Ever get stuck behind a semi passing another semi for 10 minutes? Ever consider passing them on the shoulder because it's driving you that nuts? It's stuff like that that causes accidents. If I, a reasonably sensible person, will consider doing something as stupid as passing on the shoulder because of what something else would do (I don't actually do it, but it definately crosses my mind), what would your average driver do? A stupid driver (we all know there are plenty of those)?

Thanksgiving was pretty good. Got to see a few good friends from high school, which was very nice. I miss that group. It was fun to record the show for Danielle's project. I make a damn fine Edmund. :-P

He Who Must Not Be Named. That's what my neighbors have apparently started calling me. He Who Must Not Be Named. Because I am always in the doghouse at home and driving my parents nuts. Apparently. Or so my parents tell them. Apparently I am always driving them nuts. How does this make me feel? Wonderful, let me tell ya. Gotta love hearing that your parents bitch about you to the neighbors you are so close with, you consider them family. And not occasionally either, but all the time. Now doesn't that make you not want to wait to get home again?

Found out something else that has really sparked my interest. Not sure what to do about it yet though. I need to bounce some things off some good friends, so let me know if you'd like to catch a cup of coffee with me.

It was good to see my little brother, Danny again. He is surviving the Academy. And Leslie is surviving him being at the Academy. Those two are so amazingly cute, almost makes ya sick. Jimmy and Mo, too. I feel like such a loser around those two couples since I can't even make it past three months and they are on four and two years, respectively. And I get that look from my parents like, "Bob, you need to get going, you are the oldest and your brothers are showing you up." And so they try to set me up with Michelle as much as they can.

We have a tree now. Yup, that's right, we are festive. I think my parents love the fact that I have a house now. It gives them an excuse to get new stuff. Whatever, I don't mind.

Maybe I should get some sleep. Well I'll leave you with some classic O.C. Supertones. Enjoy.

Keep both my eyes transfixed on the prize
A high-rise to the blue skies my piece of the pie
There's a hole in my heart that I know how to fill
That's to light my cigarettes with a hundred dollar bill
It's all about cash flow the California dream
To make the grade you gotta make the green
My friend I'm the champion I've no time for losers
Never ask for nothin 'cause beggars can't be choosers

Lookin' our for number ones's a full time occupation
I'll give to me myself and I my own salvation
Some people try to tell me God can save me from my sin
But God can take a number and I'll pencil Him in
Busy oh so busy I got no time to search
My Sunday's are all booked I've got no time for church
That's for those poor souls, dry as a stone
God bless this child 'cause this child's got His own.

Oh, let my pride fall down I'm a little man

He who gets the most toys and dies is the winner
I'm livin' the high life with lobster tail dinners
My Lexus, my yacht, my gold chains and rings
These are a few of my favorite things
But most of all I keep my billfold the closest to my heart
House decorated with million dollar works of art
Roll with the Bigwigs they think I'm the man
But then I stop and look and think about how big I really am

Mammon is an unforgiving God, I cast him away
I live my life to God, not to get paid
Money can't save your soul, don't think I can
I look to God and I feel like a little man.