Thursday, April 28, 2005

The Way I Am on a Wednesday Night

So I haven't updated in a while, I've been busy. It happens. One Acts stuff piles up, and I really haven't had that much to say. I blog when I have something to say, and not because I haven't blogged yet that day. Eh, whatever.

So I really miss freshman year. More importantly I miss that connection Lindsey and I had. I see pieces of it this year, but it's just not the same. It was nice hanging out with Lindsey last night. It was like a taste of what we used to have. She understands me more than anyone on this earth does and it's really nice to just have someone who knows you like that. Also nice to get a "Lindsey massage" again. These are legendary. It was amazing. We also got a chance to just talk, something I haven't done with her in a good forever. It is nights like last night that make me wonder how things would be if I hadn't broken up with her years ago and had tried to make things work. I still know things are for the best with us as just friends, and that it would not have worked out in the long run, but I still miss what we had. However, it's nice to have a friend like her and I'm glad we were able to keep that much. She's too awesome of a person to let go of that.

In case you haven't noticed, my Cardinals soo rock. They are currently 14-5, in first in the division, up by 4 games. In case you don't follow baseball much, that's a hell of a start. It is currently the best record in baseball. Mark Mulder threw a 10 inning shutout of the Astros the other day. Now that's just nuts. The last time that happened was in 1988 when Greg Maddux pulled off this phenomenal feat. He was voted the MLB player of the week, to no surprise. Other nominees included fellow starters Matt Morris and Chris Carpenter, who have pitched amazingly. The starting pitching staff, which was blamed for the loss of the World Series and has been their weak point for years, is performing like no one else. And the offense has not let up either, but that was almost expected. This year seems to be the year for my birds. I am excited. This summer I plan to hit up Busch Stadium for the last year of it's existance. St. Louis is building a new awesome satadium, but you still have to pay your respects to the old one before it gets torn down. Anyone up for several road trips this summer?

It's getting late and I need bed so I will leave you with some Reality Check, that has been rocking out in my car lately. A reall awesome band.

dimensions of intervention
are needless so I think
striving and thriving I see
I'm driving to the brink
avoiding annoying eternal
complications destinations
unimportant constantly
distorting my relations
from patience to thoughts of
hating anyone in my mind
I find it hard to believe you
can relate to my kind
and if I could I would
pretend that I'm alright
by myself
If you love me as I am I'll
put my pride on the shelf

if I can I'll pretend I'm
alright all by myself
I'd rather drown than take
your hand
it's the way I am

skepticism leaves a wrinkle
on my brow
cynicism prevents my change
with this suspicion I'm caught
in a dilemma
intervention with my psyche?
rearrange
walls built to hinder
the intrusion
preservation of my mental
well being
doubt makes me value the
safety of my distance
can it be stubbornness to
which I cling?

if I can I'll pretend I'm
alright all by myself
I'd rather drown than take
your hand
it's the way I am
and if I climb a wall of pride
swim across my sea of doubt
will you love me as I am
the way I am

Monday, April 18, 2005

Stellar on a Monday Night

"I believe that if you can't say anything nice about someone....you must be talking about Hillary Clinton."
~Jeff Foxworthy

"I believe that when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. And then find someone whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."
~Ron White


So I think I will start each post with a fun quote or two. I was watching the "Blue Collar Comedy Tour Rides Again" with Adam earlier, and it is hilarious. Love it.

Did you ever want to know me
Did you ever feel like I could
It's a silent steeple that carries us down
It's a silent steeple


I've been getting really into Dispatch. Such an excellent band. How did I go so long without hearing them?

Not really much to post tonight. These past few days have seemed to just pass by leaving me just rather numb. If you asked me what happened say an hour ago, it would take me a while to come up with an answer. Ever just have those days? I did.

So I finally got the pictures from Florida up. It was kind of funny, I got them back on Friday, Caroline's birthday. One of the rolls was definately started on her 19th birthday. That day was her 20th. See her parents sent me money to get a cake for her and they wanted me to take pictures of the cake, so they could see it. Well, I finally have it now, so she can give them to her parents. Oh well. She looks pretty cute in them too, although a lot younger than she does now, which was kinda weird.

Not much more for this post so I will leave ya with some Incubus. Gotta love Incubus.

Meet me in outer space.
We could spend the night;
watch the earth come up.
I've grown tired of this place;
won't you come with me?
We could start again.

How do you do it?
Make me feel like I do.
How do you do it?
It's better than I ever knew.

Meet me in outer space.
I will hold you close, if you're afraid of heights.
I need you to see this place, it might be the only way
that I can show you how
it feels to be inside of you.
Ohhh...
You are stellar.

Saturday, April 16, 2005

Sadie Hawkins Dance on a Friday Night

Yes, it's still Friday to me. It's Friday till I go to bed, that's how it goes.

Its all about the he says she says bullshit
I think you better quit
Lettin shit slip
Or you’ll be leavin with a fat lip
Its all about the he says she says bullshit
I think you better quit
Talking that shit, punk, so come and get it


Those lyrics just seemd so appropriate.

So apparently today was decreed National Boys Suck Day by Sami and Jesseca. In observance of this new holiday of theirs, they decided not to talk to any boys all day. Apparently they were getting really tired of all of the girls suck comments that were abounding from Nick and Adam's room. However, some people were getting offended when they would do the same boy suck comments. Apparently, they tried just saying something how they did not like this, but were not listened to. I don't remember them ever saying anything to me, but maybe that just proves their point more. So they went to the extreme of shunning us for a day to make us pay attention. And for that I would have to say brilliant. This was an issue that I think needed to be addressed a while ago, but now, they have gotten all of our attentions. So while this topic is up, I will put my two cents in, whether they were wanted or not.

First of all, girls suck. Sorry girls, but your gender doesn't have the best record. However, before you get mad at me, notice this: Guys suck too. I realize this. My gender, like yours, doesn't always treat you perfectly. Sometimes the idiot/asshole is even me, I do make mistakes, and I realize that this isn't gonna make you too fond of my gender from time to time. It happens. It's a fact of life, but on behalf of my gender, I am sorry. I also know that it's not something I hold against you as a person or even your gender half the time, I just need to roll my eyes and vent about how the latest girl has been retarded leading me to the ever popular conclusion of girls suck.

Second of all, if the whole girls/guys suck comment is made in mixed company, chances are, it's not about you at all. In fact, it probably has nothing to do with you. Please do not take offense to it. Most people do not have the (pardon the expression) balls to bitch about how the opposite gender is screwing them over around the person who is causing them to believe this. So quit assuming it's about you.

You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you

Love that song. Ahh the irony.

Well, there's my two cents and be sure to put your input as well. Maybe there should be some rules like, don't bitch about the opposite gender if you can't take them bitch about yours. I really don't want to have to go through another day of exhile so girls can prove a point.

So baseball season is finally here. My Cardinals are currently in third place, only a half a game out of first place. Haven't gotten to watch more than the last half inning of a game yet though. Rather disappointing. And the time that I have the time to actually watch a game, the weekends, they are shown on the local channel in St. Louis. So sad. Even if I live and work here in the Haute, I plan to see quite a few games this year. So well worth it.

Well I am getting kind of tired, so I will leave you with some good ole Old School Relient K. This was one of my favorite songs, possibly the one to initially get me hooked on them. Sometimes I wonder why my high school never had a Sadie Hawkins Dance, or why Rose never has them, or who is Sadie Hawkins in the first place and why was this style of a dance named after them? All those questions, and it's past my bedtime. Peace.

All the girls in the bathroom talkin
who they gonna take to the Sadie Hawkins
My ears are burnin but I kept on walkin
smile on my face and an air guitar rockin

The Sadie Hawkins Dance
in my khaki pants
There's nothin better
oh oh oh
The girls ask the guys
it's always a surprise
There's nothin better
baby do you like my sweater?

Sittin in the back of my next class nappin
Got up, gave a speech, then bowed to the clapping
Told a funny joke got the whole class laughin
think I got a tan from the language which I was baskin

Scan the cafeteria for some good seating
I found a good spot by the cheerleaders eating
The quarterback asked me if I'd like a beating
I said that's one thing I won't be needing
And since I'm rather smart and cunning
I took off down the next hall running
Only to get stopped by a girl so stunning
only to get stopped by a girl so stunning?

She said, "You're smooth, and good with talkin.
You're going with me to the Sadie Hawkins"

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Cling and Clatter on a Sunday Night

So my computer is being really dumb right now and making really bad noises. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. I am currently on Zach's computer. I hope he doesn't mind. Normally, I would ask him first, but he's asleep and it's not password protected, so that's the same as him okaying it, right?

So Florida was friggin' rockin'. I had such a blast. I have never had that much fun in one week before in my life. Definately looking forward to the house next year. These guys are so much fun to hang out with. Great pictures from the trip as well. They will be up Wednesday or Thursday night.

The beach is just amazing. During the day, we just rocked it out, soaked up the sun, and rode the waves like there was no tomorrow. And then at night, just walking the beach was the most relaxing thing in the world. Except that is, when we lost Bander. So Tuesday night, after a crazy couple of games of Kings, we decided to go walk the beach. While we were there we decided to drunk dial a few friends, definate good times, and just pass the phone around, sometimes talking to people we didn't even know. Then Bander has to 'go potty', so Nick tells him to just go in the dunes. Well, he walks to the dunes and then forgets why he was headed in that direction in the first place. So he keeps going past the dunes, while the rest of us are just messing around on the beach, doing what drunk people do. He gets past the dunes and onto the boardwalk and realizes he really needs to use the rest room, so not knowing where that would be, he heads back to the beach house. After about 15 minutes and Bander did not come back from the dunes, we get a little worried. Mind you this is just shortly after Sami has told a drunk Nick to keep an eye on Bander, because he is rather drunk and has never drank before.

So Adam, Nick and I go look for Bander, realizing we have lost him and knowing how drunk people like to wander and then pass out in random areas (we really did not want him molested by some random drunk homeless guy--there were quite a few there). Mike had already headed back to the beach house as he was on the phone with Caroline and I think kind of embarassed. Whatever. F#@$ing kangaroos. Hokay, so Nick calls Bander's cell, but Bander is not picking up (apparently it was back at the house) so we split up to try to find him and to meet at a center spot in 15. Adam and Nick head in opposite directions on the board walk, while I head up a street to First St.

As I am walking I see a couple of very fine ladies approaching me, so I go up to them to see if they have seen my short, skinny, drunk friend. Apparently this sounded like a pick up line to them, so they chuckled and told me they had not, but they would like to know about this club down the street and if you have to be 21 to get in as they were both only 18. I had to admit that I was not from around here and had no clue, to which they could not believe. About this time Adam comes up, having gotten a call from Nick. When he sees the attractive ladies with me, he hurries to join the conversation. He let me know that Nick talked with a homeless guy that had described Bander perfectly, so Bander had probably headed in that direction. This confirmed my story and they realized it wasn't just a pick up line, so they were intrigued and wanted to go on this 'scavenger hunt' with us. Of course, we agreed. Shortly after we get another call from Nick that he had found Bander at the house and that he was okay. At this time we were with a couple lovely women and did not plan to just ditch them and head back to the house so we hung out with them for a little on the town.

We went to that club the girls were talking about, but turns out you had to be 21 to get in. The guy checking IDs was gonna make an offer to let them come in with us (I guess he just assumed both Adam and I were 21) and they would have to stay in the corner and promise not to drink, but they wanted to dance and to be stuck in the corner was not their idea of fun, so we walked around some more. At this time, Nick calls again, wondering where we were, but Adam responds with, "Don't worry, we will be back later." Nick got the message. With out hinting much of all, Nick knew exactly what was going on, and you gotta tip your hat to Nick on that one.

Then some hobo on a bike came up and asked if he heard some screaming. When told him there was no screaming over here, he continued on interupting the conversation and trying to hit on the girls. Not taking hints, finally I asked what time it was and was like, "Um, don't we have to be meeting someone somewhere, um, now?" Everyone else picked up on it and get the hell out of there. That guy looked like he was gonna get violent to Adam and I at any moment as was a rather scary guy.

By now, the girls are ready to just call it a night, realizing they were not gonna be getting into any of the local clubs to dance. Adam and I offered for them to come back with us to the beach house, however, they didn't feel going to the beach house of some random guys they had just met at about 1 am was a rather good idea. I can see their point, although I think it would have been fun. Hanging out with the guys is great, but it is nice to have women around every once in a while. So Adam and I politely say good night and head back to the house. As we get to the house, Nick and Mike jump out of the back yard, so proud of their recent accomplishment.

Apparently, Nick and Mike ran to where we were when Nick called Adam and figured out what was going on. Wanting to see these two girls they ran out and decided to spy on us and follow us. We didn't have a clue they were near us the entire time. But what they were most proud of was that they were able to do this all without saying a word, just using what they had seen from all the WWII video games they had played. Talk about toolish.

So in all, a fun night was had by everyone.

Nick's racing game demo has been fun. Can't wait for the full version to come out.

Feeling a little sad and a little abandoned right now. The future is unclear. Kinda confused.

Loved movie night tonight. We watched 'Eulogy.' A good movie.

Feeling kinda random right not, but that'll happen. (That will happen)

So apparently, Bunny scheduled One Acts the weekend before Picasso, but refuses to work with us so that both shows can have a set. She is definately showing which show she gives a rat's ass about. There way to make it so we both can have a set and to allow for the One Acts to be able to use stage area, it just requires a little flexibilty in the Picasso set. It's not hard at all. When we did Picasso, we could take down the set and put it up in 20 minutes. In this case, we have a week. If a high school can do it in under 20 minutes, why can't a very tech savy college be able to do it in a week?? As the producer I feel the need to put my foot down and have a nice word with Bunny, making a few demands. We definately need to work on some issues with the drama club and its structure and constitution and such. I mean serious work.

So a hundred points a piece to the four guys I spent an awesome time in Florida with. Gonna be a good time living with you guys. Another fifty points to my Sunday dinner peeps. I love Sunday dinner. Another fifty points to Jess for just being you. A hundred points to Sami for making me feel special and like I'm actually worth something, and for great laughs, but mostly for just being awesome. Twenty more points to Adam and Nick for awesome steak and another twenty to Adam for homemade onion rings (and he's still single, go figure). Twenty points to Bander for being the weirdest pick-up line that has ever worked for me. Thirty-five points to Nick for an inventive way to store a quarter can of chili (who does that?) and fifteen to Mike for being his trusty sidekick. Fifty points a piece to Jennah, Sami, Jesseca, Caroline and Amy for awesome Beach calls. You all rock my world.

Well, it's getting kinda late and I told myself I would get to bed around midnight tonight (I guess that's not happening) so I will leave you with some Lifehouse which has just been my mood as of late. Lifehouse is so perfect for a good run on the beach. And runs on the beach are marvelous. Definately something I'm gonna miss. But I digress.

too many voices
it won't take long
which one's right
and which one's wrong
and yours is most likely to be misunderstood
screaming in tongues
at the top of my lungs
till I find you
till you found me and somehow
I always knew that you would

and I am contemplating matters
all this cling and clatter
in my head
and what you said is ringing
ringing faster

and it's all good
if you would stop the world from making sense
and if I could
just realize it doesn't really matter
doesn't really matter
doesn't really matter

if I could touch the sound of silence now
you know I would
if I knew how
to make these intentions come around
and now I'm hearing without listening
and believing every word that you're not saying
speaking without a sound

trapped inside of these four walls
walking brainless muppet dolls
mushroom face beneath the tangles
bleeding silhouette inside
dancing like an angel would