Man oh man, it's getting close to opening night and I'm getting nervous. This show is really coming through though. I am very proud of all of my cast and all they have done for this production. The best part of this show is just simply watching so many of these kids grow as actors, a real sense of accomplishment. They are like my kids, my first students. I guess teachers will always have a special place in their heart for their first class, as I will this cast. I accidentally walked in on them getting together a director's gift, or at least the money. See Vinh (rhymes with "pin") decided to hold a "cast meeting" to get everyone together to discuss this, forgetting I am apart of the cast too. So someone told me he was having a cast meeting, I went to go see what he wanted. He feel kinda bad that I kinda ruined the surprise, but it made my night that they would make an effort. I didn't really expect anything at all. I just loved being able to do what I love, theatre.
A promise or a dare
I would jump if I knew you'd catch me
Staring over the edge
I can't tell if you'll be here for me
I close my eyes and make a wish
Turn out the lights and take a breath
Pray that when the wick is burned
You would say that it's all about love
So most of my co-workers are on call right now. See apparently they are expecting the Pope to die real soon and when that happens, we have to send out this letter of some sort to all Catholics everywhere. They even already have this letter made, this is how sure they are that the Pope will be dying soon. See he's currently in the hospital and I guess doctors don't expect him to make it through the night. I have no idea. Although it did make me wonder, how do they choose the next Pope? Is he elected? Bloodline? I have no idea.
You were there when I needed you
You were there when the skies broke wide, wide open
You were there when I needed you
You were there when the skies broke wide, wide open
So most of you know about my True Love Waits ring, and most everyone I know even supports it. I have never gotten crap for it, and most respect it about me. That is until I started working where I do now. A Catholic organization. Of all the places, I thought this would be the place I got the most support for it. It is so weird. Most everyone that I work with either laugh at me and then ask if I'm gay, or ask why on earth I would do that and just don't get it and keep giving me crap for it anyway. It confuses the crap out of me. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Need sleep. Play opens tomorrow, wish me luck. I will leave you with a link and some Jars of Clay. Oh and I am very sly. Bonus points if you can see why. Oh and bonus points still for finding the contest on my blog and doing it. Peace.
I remember you said
Love was more than your good intentions
Empty boxes on the floor
Things I never asked you for
I pray that when the wick is burned
You would say that it's all about love
I can't see the promise of
Excuses you fall upon
I pray to God not holding on
To things you've left undone
Thursday, February 24, 2005
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
You Already Take Me There on a Tuesday Afternoon
Need a good laugh during finals time? This actually happened to my big bro, Baldauff. All I have to say is the "The Bisquik is in the mixer."
Not much for this post, maybe more later, but I thought people would get a kick out of the story. I may never be able to leave Kroger the same. Here is some Switchfoot to end on.
When all I have in on the floor
Divided, divided
When I'm a world away from peace
Behind Your eyes is where I know
I'll find it, I'll find it
'Cause who You are defines my dreams
You already take me there
Heaven in the here and now
When I'm a broken hearted man
Complacent and tired
When I've been knocked out of the race
I've been a fool for long enough
To fight it, to fight it
It's in Your arms I find my place
You meet me where I am
Forgive me where I am
Where I lose myself in grace
(When I'm lost and found)
I wanna lose myself in grace
Let Your love reign down all over me
Cover me
Not much for this post, maybe more later, but I thought people would get a kick out of the story. I may never be able to leave Kroger the same. Here is some Switchfoot to end on.
When all I have in on the floor
Divided, divided
When I'm a world away from peace
Behind Your eyes is where I know
I'll find it, I'll find it
'Cause who You are defines my dreams
You already take me there
Heaven in the here and now
When I'm a broken hearted man
Complacent and tired
When I've been knocked out of the race
I've been a fool for long enough
To fight it, to fight it
It's in Your arms I find my place
You meet me where I am
Forgive me where I am
Where I lose myself in grace
(When I'm lost and found)
I wanna lose myself in grace
Let Your love reign down all over me
Cover me
Sunday, February 20, 2005
Hello McFly on a Sunday Night
So I had a great time in the Haute this weekend. I love all of my Rose-Hulman people and cannot wait to be back. Hopefully I will have a strong case for readmission. It's crazy sometimes. I even miss the final stress, although finals time was always a rather relaxing time for me. By the end of the term I normally have it or I don't. I review the stuff to make sure it is fresh on my mind, but comapred to the normal stress of constant homework in every class and figuring out how to get it all done in the allotted time, finals are cake. At least during finals you have had a taste of the tests now and you can study for one at a time and not worry about the next, unless you have a couple back to back finals, but even then you only have to study for two at once when during the normal schedule, you are working on 5 homeowrk assignments in one night. Not to mention you keep telling yourself, I can do this, only X hours left, and the end is in sight and when you finish that final, it is all over and out of your hands, and so much weight is simply lifted off your shoulders. Yeah, finals time is a great time and for once, I actually miss it.
My mother is signing me up for an appointment with a doctor about the possibility of my having Adult ADD. I think I may have a slight case of. I don't think I ever had it as bad as my little brother had it, but I would not be surprised the least bit if I do have at least a mild case of ADD.
Cynical, just your way
You play the doubting thomas
Feel the scars and wipe the stains
So you fight, and retreat
And talk yourself out of believing
In any peace that you can’t see
You're logical, you can’t find
Any reason to believe in love
You are blind
So, my computer, like me, prefers Rose to home. I take it to Rose to get fixed and I go to back up my important docs onto Adam's external hard drive. I get that done, and am rather impressed that it hasn't crashed on me yet as it had so many times before. So I keep it on, so I can show Nick better what happened. And it does great. So I leave it on, and use it all Friday and then on to Saturday. In fact now it is not only working, but going faster than it had before. So I'm thinking awesome, it just needed a decent rest and it's fine. I pack it up and take home since it no longer needs to see IAIT. Turn it on at home and get this nice "Non-system disk error" message, the beautiful black screen of death. I think to myself, I think I have gotten this message a couple other times before. Hmmmmmmmm, when was that? Oh yeah the other times my hard drive flipped me off before falling on its sword. I press any button like it says but it continues to flash this fateful screen at me taunting me, so I try a nice Ctl-Alt-Del and it restarts and guess what screen it comes back to 10 second into boot up? Yup, thats right, nice black screen of death. So turns out this hard drive at seen its last days. What is with the Compaq hard drives and being total crap? I have gone through four in two and a half years. That means on average these hard drives are lasting less than 8 months. Thats pitiful. And I'm not the only one with this problem, I hear it's a common thing with Rose student who has a Compaq. What can I do to help preserve my hard drive so it doesn't crap out on me on such a regualr basis?
It seems it’s always the crazy times
You find you’ll wake up and realize
It takes more than your saline eyes
To make things right
So bonus points to the person to find the contest I posted on my facebook a while ago. Even more bonus points to the person to win the contest and post it here.
So props to the people who made my weekend so awesome. I don't want to name names here as I am bound to forget someone, and if you made my weekend, you know who you are. Especially the person who I had car troubles for, you make it worth it all and more.
I don't have much but I'll leave you with some old school Relient K.
A roll of the dice
A slip of the tongue
I was stirring up the hornets' nest
and finally got me stung
Said I'd do the right thing
But the wrong was done
It's over, exuse my grammer
But the fat lady sung
And I wish I was Michael J Fox
I'd visit the past
Then come back to the future (Hello McFly)
When I cleaned up my act
Yeah I don't know
What went through my head
Was my conscience shot?
Was it left for dead?
I said I'm sorry
But no one heard
'cause actions (actions) actions
Actions speak louder than words
I think I made God angry
and I'm sure that he's irate
I just hope my remorse was not too little too late
Even my track record
He gave me a clean slate
I'm forgiven and I'm livin'
With no sin on my plate
My mother is signing me up for an appointment with a doctor about the possibility of my having Adult ADD. I think I may have a slight case of. I don't think I ever had it as bad as my little brother had it, but I would not be surprised the least bit if I do have at least a mild case of ADD.
Cynical, just your way
You play the doubting thomas
Feel the scars and wipe the stains
So you fight, and retreat
And talk yourself out of believing
In any peace that you can’t see
You're logical, you can’t find
Any reason to believe in love
You are blind
So, my computer, like me, prefers Rose to home. I take it to Rose to get fixed and I go to back up my important docs onto Adam's external hard drive. I get that done, and am rather impressed that it hasn't crashed on me yet as it had so many times before. So I keep it on, so I can show Nick better what happened. And it does great. So I leave it on, and use it all Friday and then on to Saturday. In fact now it is not only working, but going faster than it had before. So I'm thinking awesome, it just needed a decent rest and it's fine. I pack it up and take home since it no longer needs to see IAIT. Turn it on at home and get this nice "Non-system disk error" message, the beautiful black screen of death. I think to myself, I think I have gotten this message a couple other times before. Hmmmmmmmm, when was that? Oh yeah the other times my hard drive flipped me off before falling on its sword. I press any button like it says but it continues to flash this fateful screen at me taunting me, so I try a nice Ctl-Alt-Del and it restarts and guess what screen it comes back to 10 second into boot up? Yup, thats right, nice black screen of death. So turns out this hard drive at seen its last days. What is with the Compaq hard drives and being total crap? I have gone through four in two and a half years. That means on average these hard drives are lasting less than 8 months. Thats pitiful. And I'm not the only one with this problem, I hear it's a common thing with Rose student who has a Compaq. What can I do to help preserve my hard drive so it doesn't crap out on me on such a regualr basis?
It seems it’s always the crazy times
You find you’ll wake up and realize
It takes more than your saline eyes
To make things right
So bonus points to the person to find the contest I posted on my facebook a while ago. Even more bonus points to the person to win the contest and post it here.
So props to the people who made my weekend so awesome. I don't want to name names here as I am bound to forget someone, and if you made my weekend, you know who you are. Especially the person who I had car troubles for, you make it worth it all and more.
I don't have much but I'll leave you with some old school Relient K.
A roll of the dice
A slip of the tongue
I was stirring up the hornets' nest
and finally got me stung
Said I'd do the right thing
But the wrong was done
It's over, exuse my grammer
But the fat lady sung
And I wish I was Michael J Fox
I'd visit the past
Then come back to the future (Hello McFly)
When I cleaned up my act
Yeah I don't know
What went through my head
Was my conscience shot?
Was it left for dead?
I said I'm sorry
But no one heard
'cause actions (actions) actions
Actions speak louder than words
I think I made God angry
and I'm sure that he's irate
I just hope my remorse was not too little too late
Even my track record
He gave me a clean slate
I'm forgiven and I'm livin'
With no sin on my plate
Sunday, February 13, 2005
More Than Useless on a Sunday
So my computer is dead. And along with it, an awesome update that I had. Very, very grrrrsome. There is so much I had to write here that was gonna make you not mind the wait so much, because it was just that awesome. But now it's gone, and it is very sad.
(Think to the tune of "Poor Jud is Daid" from "Oklahoma!")
Poor Compaq is daid, pore Compaq Evo is daid;
All gather 'round his coffin now and cry.
He had a heart of gold and he wasn't very old,
Oh, why did such a fella have to die.
So this weekend I went and saw Lewis Black at the Pageant in the Lou. He is a very funny guy, and it was definately a good time. Erika came down to see it, and in return I helped her with her GREs, well the math section at least. I would be screwed as far as the english section goes, but she's the english major, so together we could obliterate the test. We saw it with Ryan, and his girlfriend Erin, Cole and his girlfriend Lisa, and Matt and his brother Ryan. Ryan looked so much thinner than I had remembered him that I barely recognized him. Before the show we all met at Fitz's (where else?) and I had one of the best Coney's prepared on earth. The only place I can imagine them being better, well, would be at Coney Island, where they originated, but they may even have there beat. And fresh draft Fitz's root beer is the liquid thats close enough to heaven. I absolutely love it. After the show, most people went home, but Erika and I went to Denny's to get some nice breakfast late at night (when else?) and just get to talk. I love getting to simply talk to that girl. It can just be so random, crazy, intelligent, fun, deep and friggin hilarious all at the same time. We saw Josh Weidler which is always interesting. That guy thinks so highly of himself very much of the time, and rather cocky, but can somehow pull off likeable every once in a while. As long as we aren't talking about him, we can have some fun time together. And then Ian Randall came walking in. Now thats a fun guy, and about as completely random is they get sometimes. He's prolly the only white guy on earth that can pull off the fro like he does. He and Kyle are putting together another 24 hour play festival and they want me to be apart. How can I resist? It will be on a weekend, so even if I am back at Rose, I can come down to the B-Ville for it. I had such a blast on the previous one, I would be insane to say, no not this time.
So I took the Intermediate Java Programming course at University of Missouri-St. Louis, and well, it was all review. I didn't learn one thing. No I take that back, I learn case switch loops, as we never used them in CS 120, but that is it. And it all could have been done in an if statement just as easy if not easier. Anyway, all it did for me was refreh me mind on Java. That's it. So I paid over $300 for a refresher. And my father wanted me to take the Intro to Java class, doubting that I had learned everything they were going to cover in the Intro class. After talking with the prof, turns out, I've already learned all the Advanced Java Programming stuff as well, so there was nothing more they could teach me in Java. Is that sad or what? What the hell classes am I supposed to take here?? Why take a class that isn't gonna mean squat in my degree?
I get the horrible feeling that I'm not gonna get back in this spring. I have have sent a couple emails to Dr. Graves, the head of the board trying to figure out if I am on the right path to be back in the spring and if not, what else can I do? Basically he gave me thing they like to see, big one being an A or B in a couple complete classes at a local college or something, showing long term commitment. I don't have that long. So I found a class that met in the little time I'm here before spring term. He just doesn't seem to get it. I am working my butt off here. I want to be back at Rose more than anything in this world and knowing it's my very last chance, I will do anything I need to do to get there and stay. There is no better medicine in motivation to stay in school than living at home for 3 months. On the bright side, I now for sure have a place I can live in the spring. Zach and Aydrian have offered to let me stay at their house, so it will be nice and then I will have the apartment with Nick, Adam and hopefully Mike next year.
So fall back on all of your premonitions
And just learn to listen
To those that have more wisdom than you
And just stop
Putting so much stock
In all of this stuff
Live your life for those you love
Relient K is such an awesome band. I wasn't a huge fan of their latest CD, but it has definately grown on me. Still not a big fan of a couple songs, but I love many others on it.
And lately the weather
Has been so Bi-polar
And Consequently so have I
And now I'm sunny with a High of 75
Since You took my heavy heart
And made it light
And its funny how you find
You enjoy your life
When you're happy to be alive
So I apologize for not being able to update much lately, these next few posts are gonna suck until I get my computer back so that I can just write stuff that pops into my head, and actually have meat to my blogs, so bear with me. It's ahrd to be able to get a good post when you are fighting for time on this computer. So if you don't feel like checking that often for the next couple of weeks, I totally understand.
I am a hostage to my own humanity
Self detained and forced to live in this mess I’ve made
And all I’m asking is for You to do what You can with me
But I can’t ask You to give what You already gave
So I was going through an old folder of mine and I found this:
Just a Little Something Girls Should Know About Guys
1. We're NOT as big of perverts as you think we all are.
2. No matter what you say, your ex-boyfriend IS an ass.
3. We like you to give us hugs and kisses too.
4. Don't argue with us when we call you beautiful.
5. Don't treat us like shit.
6. We know you're pretty, that's one of the reason's we're going out with you.
7. Don't go into detail about your period. It scares us.
8. If you have cramps and we ask you what's wrong, just say it's that time of the month and nothing more.
9. If you really liked us for us, you would let us think that our mustache, beard, or sideburns looked cool.
10. We'll never shave our legs. So get over it.
11. NEVER ask us if you can put make up on us. It's just wrong.
12. Don't make bets about us, because one of your friends will tell us, if you don't.
13. When we tell you that you're not fat, believe us.
14. We absolutely do not care about, The Backstreet Boys, NSYNC, 98 degrees, or what any other guy looks like for that matter.
15. We may not be able to pee accurately all of the time, but at least we can stand up and pee.
16. Just because you think you're always right, doesn't mean you don't have to apologize when you're wrong.
17. You expect us to say and do sweet things for you, but it would be nice if you did the same every once in a while.
18. We can't always be spontaneous, so try to help us make the plans sometimes.
19. Don't ask us to beat up another guy for you, because you might get what you wish for.
20. Never kick us in the nuts "just to see what we'd say."
21. Never pretend like you are going to break up with us and laugh when we believe you.
22. Pamela Anderson's boobs aren't fake anymore, but we like yours better anyway.
23. Size doesn't matter, except to idiots who don't want a relationship.
24. PMS is not an excuse.
25. If you want us to put the seat down when we're done, you should put it up when you're done.
26. Don't tell us how cute your ex-boyfriend was. That doesn't turn us on.
27. Always remember: The way to a guy’s heart is through his stomach...and maybe...oh never mind.
28. NEVER ask us to kiss other guys. You might be that comfy with your friends, but to us it’s just wrong.
29. We always notice how funny it is after your rip out our heart, stick it down our throat, and still want to be friends.
30. And last but not least: We know you're not always right, but we'll pretend like you are anyway.
I found it quite humorous, even though I don't completely agree with all of them, but many of them are soo true. ::Cough:: 5! 13! 24! ::cough::
I think I will follow the trend I have set in this post and end with some Relient K. If you haven't heard these guys, you are totally missing out, and you have not heard Relient K, till you have heard them live.
I feel like, I would like
To be somewhere else doing something that matters
And I'll admit here, while I sit here
My mind wastes away and my doubts start to gather
Whats the purpose? It feels worthless
So unwanted like I've lost all my value
I can't find it, not in the least bit
and I'm just scared, so scared that I'll fail you
And sometimes I think that I'm not any good at all
And sometimes I wonder why, why I'm even here at all
But then you assure me
I'm a little more than useless
And when I think that I can't do this
You promise me that I'll get through this
And do something right
Do something right for once
So I say if I can't, do something significant
I'll opt to leave most opportunities wasted
And nothing trival, that life could give me will
Measure up to what might have replaced it
Too late look, my date book
Is packed full of days that were empty and now gone
And I bet, that regret
Will prove to get me to improve in the long run
I’m a little more than useless
And I never knew I knew this
Was gonna the day, gonna be the day
That I would do something right
Do something right for once
I notice, I know this
Week is a symbol of how I use my time
Resent it, I spent it
Convincing myself the world's doing just fine
Without me
Doing anything of any consequence
Without me
Showing any sign of ever making sense
Of my time , it's my life
And my right, to use it like I should
Like he would, for the good
Of everything that I would ever know
(Think to the tune of "Poor Jud is Daid" from "Oklahoma!")
Poor Compaq is daid, pore Compaq Evo is daid;
All gather 'round his coffin now and cry.
He had a heart of gold and he wasn't very old,
Oh, why did such a fella have to die.
So this weekend I went and saw Lewis Black at the Pageant in the Lou. He is a very funny guy, and it was definately a good time. Erika came down to see it, and in return I helped her with her GREs, well the math section at least. I would be screwed as far as the english section goes, but she's the english major, so together we could obliterate the test. We saw it with Ryan, and his girlfriend Erin, Cole and his girlfriend Lisa, and Matt and his brother Ryan. Ryan looked so much thinner than I had remembered him that I barely recognized him. Before the show we all met at Fitz's (where else?) and I had one of the best Coney's prepared on earth. The only place I can imagine them being better, well, would be at Coney Island, where they originated, but they may even have there beat. And fresh draft Fitz's root beer is the liquid thats close enough to heaven. I absolutely love it. After the show, most people went home, but Erika and I went to Denny's to get some nice breakfast late at night (when else?) and just get to talk. I love getting to simply talk to that girl. It can just be so random, crazy, intelligent, fun, deep and friggin hilarious all at the same time. We saw Josh Weidler which is always interesting. That guy thinks so highly of himself very much of the time, and rather cocky, but can somehow pull off likeable every once in a while. As long as we aren't talking about him, we can have some fun time together. And then Ian Randall came walking in. Now thats a fun guy, and about as completely random is they get sometimes. He's prolly the only white guy on earth that can pull off the fro like he does. He and Kyle are putting together another 24 hour play festival and they want me to be apart. How can I resist? It will be on a weekend, so even if I am back at Rose, I can come down to the B-Ville for it. I had such a blast on the previous one, I would be insane to say, no not this time.
So I took the Intermediate Java Programming course at University of Missouri-St. Louis, and well, it was all review. I didn't learn one thing. No I take that back, I learn case switch loops, as we never used them in CS 120, but that is it. And it all could have been done in an if statement just as easy if not easier. Anyway, all it did for me was refreh me mind on Java. That's it. So I paid over $300 for a refresher. And my father wanted me to take the Intro to Java class, doubting that I had learned everything they were going to cover in the Intro class. After talking with the prof, turns out, I've already learned all the Advanced Java Programming stuff as well, so there was nothing more they could teach me in Java. Is that sad or what? What the hell classes am I supposed to take here?? Why take a class that isn't gonna mean squat in my degree?
I get the horrible feeling that I'm not gonna get back in this spring. I have have sent a couple emails to Dr. Graves, the head of the board trying to figure out if I am on the right path to be back in the spring and if not, what else can I do? Basically he gave me thing they like to see, big one being an A or B in a couple complete classes at a local college or something, showing long term commitment. I don't have that long. So I found a class that met in the little time I'm here before spring term. He just doesn't seem to get it. I am working my butt off here. I want to be back at Rose more than anything in this world and knowing it's my very last chance, I will do anything I need to do to get there and stay. There is no better medicine in motivation to stay in school than living at home for 3 months. On the bright side, I now for sure have a place I can live in the spring. Zach and Aydrian have offered to let me stay at their house, so it will be nice and then I will have the apartment with Nick, Adam and hopefully Mike next year.
So fall back on all of your premonitions
And just learn to listen
To those that have more wisdom than you
And just stop
Putting so much stock
In all of this stuff
Live your life for those you love
Relient K is such an awesome band. I wasn't a huge fan of their latest CD, but it has definately grown on me. Still not a big fan of a couple songs, but I love many others on it.
And lately the weather
Has been so Bi-polar
And Consequently so have I
And now I'm sunny with a High of 75
Since You took my heavy heart
And made it light
And its funny how you find
You enjoy your life
When you're happy to be alive
So I apologize for not being able to update much lately, these next few posts are gonna suck until I get my computer back so that I can just write stuff that pops into my head, and actually have meat to my blogs, so bear with me. It's ahrd to be able to get a good post when you are fighting for time on this computer. So if you don't feel like checking that often for the next couple of weeks, I totally understand.
I am a hostage to my own humanity
Self detained and forced to live in this mess I’ve made
And all I’m asking is for You to do what You can with me
But I can’t ask You to give what You already gave
So I was going through an old folder of mine and I found this:
Just a Little Something Girls Should Know About Guys
1. We're NOT as big of perverts as you think we all are.
2. No matter what you say, your ex-boyfriend IS an ass.
3. We like you to give us hugs and kisses too.
4. Don't argue with us when we call you beautiful.
5. Don't treat us like shit.
6. We know you're pretty, that's one of the reason's we're going out with you.
7. Don't go into detail about your period. It scares us.
8. If you have cramps and we ask you what's wrong, just say it's that time of the month and nothing more.
9. If you really liked us for us, you would let us think that our mustache, beard, or sideburns looked cool.
10. We'll never shave our legs. So get over it.
11. NEVER ask us if you can put make up on us. It's just wrong.
12. Don't make bets about us, because one of your friends will tell us, if you don't.
13. When we tell you that you're not fat, believe us.
14. We absolutely do not care about, The Backstreet Boys, NSYNC, 98 degrees, or what any other guy looks like for that matter.
15. We may not be able to pee accurately all of the time, but at least we can stand up and pee.
16. Just because you think you're always right, doesn't mean you don't have to apologize when you're wrong.
17. You expect us to say and do sweet things for you, but it would be nice if you did the same every once in a while.
18. We can't always be spontaneous, so try to help us make the plans sometimes.
19. Don't ask us to beat up another guy for you, because you might get what you wish for.
20. Never kick us in the nuts "just to see what we'd say."
21. Never pretend like you are going to break up with us and laugh when we believe you.
22. Pamela Anderson's boobs aren't fake anymore, but we like yours better anyway.
23. Size doesn't matter, except to idiots who don't want a relationship.
24. PMS is not an excuse.
25. If you want us to put the seat down when we're done, you should put it up when you're done.
26. Don't tell us how cute your ex-boyfriend was. That doesn't turn us on.
27. Always remember: The way to a guy’s heart is through his stomach...and maybe...oh never mind.
28. NEVER ask us to kiss other guys. You might be that comfy with your friends, but to us it’s just wrong.
29. We always notice how funny it is after your rip out our heart, stick it down our throat, and still want to be friends.
30. And last but not least: We know you're not always right, but we'll pretend like you are anyway.
I found it quite humorous, even though I don't completely agree with all of them, but many of them are soo true. ::Cough:: 5! 13! 24! ::cough::
I think I will follow the trend I have set in this post and end with some Relient K. If you haven't heard these guys, you are totally missing out, and you have not heard Relient K, till you have heard them live.
I feel like, I would like
To be somewhere else doing something that matters
And I'll admit here, while I sit here
My mind wastes away and my doubts start to gather
Whats the purpose? It feels worthless
So unwanted like I've lost all my value
I can't find it, not in the least bit
and I'm just scared, so scared that I'll fail you
And sometimes I think that I'm not any good at all
And sometimes I wonder why, why I'm even here at all
But then you assure me
I'm a little more than useless
And when I think that I can't do this
You promise me that I'll get through this
And do something right
Do something right for once
So I say if I can't, do something significant
I'll opt to leave most opportunities wasted
And nothing trival, that life could give me will
Measure up to what might have replaced it
Too late look, my date book
Is packed full of days that were empty and now gone
And I bet, that regret
Will prove to get me to improve in the long run
I’m a little more than useless
And I never knew I knew this
Was gonna the day, gonna be the day
That I would do something right
Do something right for once
I notice, I know this
Week is a symbol of how I use my time
Resent it, I spent it
Convincing myself the world's doing just fine
Without me
Doing anything of any consequence
Without me
Showing any sign of ever making sense
Of my time , it's my life
And my right, to use it like I should
Like he would, for the good
Of everything that I would ever know
Sunday, February 06, 2005
Be My Escape on a Sunday
Apprently there is a Blog Commenter's Committee, and they have decided that I update. They even IMed me, and interesting enough a lot of them don't comment on my blog. So people who don't even read this blog decided I needed to update. If you want me to update, leave comments. That shows me a lot of people have read and are loking for something new.
So I've been planning an update for sometime now, but things seem to just come up. A long update is coming, but since I need sleep, here is a little something wet your whistle until tomorrow night. So here are some lyrics from Relient K's latest album, "MmmHmm". That title reminds me of Who's on First.
"So whatcha listening to?"
"MmmHmm."
So here's the lyrics that definately spoke to me on my random road trip to Eastern (Kiki you rock)
I’ve given up on giving up slowly
I’m blending in so you won’t even know me
Apart from this whole world that shares my fate.
This one last pull that you mention
It’s my one last shot at redemption
Cause I know to live you must give your life away.
And I’ve been housing all this doubt
and insecurity
And I’ve been locked inside that house
All the while you hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out
And that might be the death of me.
And even though there’s no way of knowing
Where to go
I promise I’m goin because…
I gotta get out of here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I feel into by mistake
I gotta get out of here
And I’m begging you, I’m begging you, I’m begging you to be my escape.
I’ve given up on doing this alone now
Guess I failed and I’m ready to be shown how
You told me the way and now I’m tryin to get there
And this life sentence that I’m serving
I admit that I’m every bit deserving
But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair
I am a hostage to my own humanity
Self-detained and forced to live in this mess I’ve made
And all I’m asking is for you to do what you can with me
But I can’t ask you to give what you already gave.
I fought you for so long I should have let you win
(Oh how we regret those things we do)
And all I was trying to do was save my own skin
(But so were you)
So were you
So I've been planning an update for sometime now, but things seem to just come up. A long update is coming, but since I need sleep, here is a little something wet your whistle until tomorrow night. So here are some lyrics from Relient K's latest album, "MmmHmm". That title reminds me of Who's on First.
"So whatcha listening to?"
"MmmHmm."
So here's the lyrics that definately spoke to me on my random road trip to Eastern (Kiki you rock)
I’ve given up on giving up slowly
I’m blending in so you won’t even know me
Apart from this whole world that shares my fate.
This one last pull that you mention
It’s my one last shot at redemption
Cause I know to live you must give your life away.
And I’ve been housing all this doubt
and insecurity
And I’ve been locked inside that house
All the while you hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out
And that might be the death of me.
And even though there’s no way of knowing
Where to go
I promise I’m goin because…
I gotta get out of here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I feel into by mistake
I gotta get out of here
And I’m begging you, I’m begging you, I’m begging you to be my escape.
I’ve given up on doing this alone now
Guess I failed and I’m ready to be shown how
You told me the way and now I’m tryin to get there
And this life sentence that I’m serving
I admit that I’m every bit deserving
But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair
I am a hostage to my own humanity
Self-detained and forced to live in this mess I’ve made
And all I’m asking is for you to do what you can with me
But I can’t ask you to give what you already gave.
I fought you for so long I should have let you win
(Oh how we regret those things we do)
And all I was trying to do was save my own skin
(But so were you)
So were you
Monday, January 31, 2005
Looking for You on a Monday
This day has been nuts, my head is still spinning. So after an awesome concert, I wake up this morning and I have a message that I need to call Adecco (the temp agency) in the morning and not to go into work. Apparently they called on Friday while I was at work and left the message. So I call them and they tell me that they were told I was not carrying my weight at work and that they were firing me. I was taken aback. I have never been fired before in my life. When I do a job, I work as hard as I can and put everything I have in it. Not to mention I was the fastest, most efficient, hardest working person there. Now I probably sound like an egotistical guy from that, but it didn't take that much. I work with a bunch of lazy, fat women who are not exactly the brightest crayons in the box. They were even asking me for advice on how to do their job better. So when I am doing the best job, and I'm not pulling my weight, how the hell are they? What does it take to pull my weight. I don't even weigh that much. And my coworkers weigh twice as much as I do. Just doesn't make sense. So I go in to Adecco to find out exactly what happened and such and if they have a file stating when I screwed up or something and such. And she can't tell me squat. Apparently, she had no control over it. With a temp agency, they do whatever their client wants, and when a client, aka the hospital I was working at, wants me gone, I'm gone. So somehow I pissed someone at the hospital off. And to think the person in charge of the file room was gonna make me a supervisor. I just don't get it.
But then she tells me she has an opening at the Shine of our Lady Snows. Working in the Marketing Production Line. I am not sure what exactly it is that I will be doing yet, but I will be working better hours and same pay. Working 8 to 4:30, Monday thru Friday. I start tomorrow. That's right, I was fired and hired within 6 hours. Crrrrrrazy.
Thanks to everyone who helped me get through this insanly confusing and stressful time. Especially to Kiki who even called for a follow up and made me laugh when I needed it most. Thanks soo much.
So the concert last night-friggin' amazing. One of the best concerts I have ever been to. Toby was the man, still is the man. Totally rockin' and so was Tait. Great band. Got me excited about them again. Michael Tait has an amazing voice and incredible range. Great songs.
So does anyone read the other blog I started with the stories, or did I create it for no reason? If no one really cares to read it, that's fine, but I don't plan to update more until there are some comments to show someone has read that one.
Just for fun, Quote of the Day:
"If you can't say anything nice about someone, you must be talking about Hilary Clinton"
~Jeff Foxworthy
Probably most appropriate that I end with a Tait song that just rang so true today.
Wide awake, chasing sleep
Life’s so bittersweet
Like a dream, remembering
When I could talk to you
We were safe in a world of harm
Before I knew it our love was gone
I miss you so much
I’m looking for you
Cause you’re all that’s true to me
You make me smile
I had to fall, and lose it all
But that’s all right with me
You pushed aside my selfish pride
You opened up my eyes
When I was lost you came to me
You crossed the oceans to set me free
I need you so much
You, you’re all I ever needed
I know, I know
Only you, you’re all I ever wanted
I know, I know
You, you’re more than a dream
Yeah you’re everything
My own symphony
You’re my destiny
I’m Looking for you
I sing this for you
Cause nothing’s as true
You make me smile
So I smile, yeah I smile
Every time I think of you
I smile, I do
Oh every time I think of you
But then she tells me she has an opening at the Shine of our Lady Snows. Working in the Marketing Production Line. I am not sure what exactly it is that I will be doing yet, but I will be working better hours and same pay. Working 8 to 4:30, Monday thru Friday. I start tomorrow. That's right, I was fired and hired within 6 hours. Crrrrrrazy.
Thanks to everyone who helped me get through this insanly confusing and stressful time. Especially to Kiki who even called for a follow up and made me laugh when I needed it most. Thanks soo much.
So the concert last night-friggin' amazing. One of the best concerts I have ever been to. Toby was the man, still is the man. Totally rockin' and so was Tait. Great band. Got me excited about them again. Michael Tait has an amazing voice and incredible range. Great songs.
So does anyone read the other blog I started with the stories, or did I create it for no reason? If no one really cares to read it, that's fine, but I don't plan to update more until there are some comments to show someone has read that one.
Just for fun, Quote of the Day:
"If you can't say anything nice about someone, you must be talking about Hilary Clinton"
~Jeff Foxworthy
Probably most appropriate that I end with a Tait song that just rang so true today.
Wide awake, chasing sleep
Life’s so bittersweet
Like a dream, remembering
When I could talk to you
We were safe in a world of harm
Before I knew it our love was gone
I miss you so much
I’m looking for you
Cause you’re all that’s true to me
You make me smile
I had to fall, and lose it all
But that’s all right with me
You pushed aside my selfish pride
You opened up my eyes
When I was lost you came to me
You crossed the oceans to set me free
I need you so much
You, you’re all I ever needed
I know, I know
Only you, you’re all I ever wanted
I know, I know
You, you’re more than a dream
Yeah you’re everything
My own symphony
You’re my destiny
I’m Looking for you
I sing this for you
Cause nothing’s as true
You make me smile
So I smile, yeah I smile
Every time I think of you
I smile, I do
Oh every time I think of you
Friday, January 28, 2005
Mood Rings on a Friday
So since starting the second blog of stories, I have gotten really excited about my novel that I have started. I have a good idea of the plotline in my head, but I still have the freedom to see where it takes me. It rather excites me. I wish I had the time to simply sit down and make much more progress on it and possibly get it published. We'll see what I can get done.
So there is this Lysol commercial, where a mother has a child and his friend over to play. The friend sneezes and the mother looks over, picks up the can of Lysol and proceeds to spray down the kid's toys, with a footer saying over 30 seconds. Dear Lord, are you kidding me? If I ever become like that as a parent, shoot me. I understand some concern for your kids and making sure they don't catch anything, but when does it become too far and you stop letting your kid live? I realize it's just a commercial, but I know parents that do that and its just so annoying.
My job is getting better. I enjoy the time when eveyone else leaves and it's just me left at work. I get so much time to just think about life as file. Not to mention I get to put whatever CD I please in, and sing as loud as I want and no one will hear me, as long as I can still hear the phone. It would in fact be awesome if it weren't for being so late in the day and I had already worked six and half hours. Oh well.
So watching "Last Call with Carson Daly" and I can tell why it is on when no one is awake. He's got an interesting set and I like that he doesn't have the same band and instead showcases new bands, but I think he may need someone to build off of and such. Not to mention he has trouble in his interview with his guests and who exactly is the writer for his side shows?? Wow, has potential, but needs a lot of work.
So I am missing my Kiki talk tonight. She is at a retreat for the Christian Campus house she is a part of, and I hope is having a great time. I miss retreats with people you love. I went to every FCA retreat in high school. They were hosted by Mike Matheny, as he is from the area. He even hosted it before coming to the Cardinals. The first one I went to, he was a free agent having spent his most recent years with Milwaukee and he announced that his wife had just called and his agent was currently in talks with the Cardinals. Two weeks later, he signed. Those retreats were so much fun. The entire thing was a huge competition of so many random games. A total weekend of sports and God. Then add awesome music and if it only had theatre, it would be heaven.
Had many thoughts while I was working, but don't remember them all. I should make notes at work.
Here are some Relient K lyrics to leave you with. Women, please do not be offended by these lyrics. They are not about you, just the especially emotional females, and chances are that if you read my blog, you are not the type of female this talks about. However, if you do get offended about this, it probably is about you. Ironic.
We all know the girls that I am talking about
Well they are time bombs and they are ticking
And the only question’s when they’ll blow up
And they’ll blow up; we know that without a doubt
Cause they’re those girls, yeah you know those girls that let their emotions get the best of them
And I’ve contrived some sort of a plan to help my fellow man
Let’s get emotional girls to all wear mood rings
So we’ll be tipped off to when they’re ticked off
Cause we’ll know just what they’re thinking
Cause what they’re thinking...
She’s so pretty but she but doesn’t always act that way
Her mood’s out swinging on the swing set almost every day
She said to me that she’s so happy it’s depressing
And all I said was someone get that girl a mood ring
If it’s drama you want then look no further
They’re like the real world meets boy meets world meets days of our lives
And it just kills me how they get away with murder
They’ll anger you then bat their eyes; those pretty eyes that watch you sympathize
Cause when it’s black means watch your back because you’re probably
The last person in the world right now she wants to see
And when it’s blue it means that you should call her up immediately
And ask her out because she’ll most likely agree
And when it’s green it simply means that she is really stressed
And when it’s clear it means she’s completely emotionless (and that’s all right I must confess)
We all know the girls that I am talking about
She liked you wednesday but now it’s friday and she has to wash her hair
And it just figures that we’ll never figure them out
First she’s jekyll and then she’s hyde....at least she makes a lovely pair
Mood ring oh mood ring
Oh tell me will you bring
The key to unlock this mystery
Of girls and their emotions
Play it back in slow motion
So I may understand the complex infrastructure known as the female mind
Heh...that’s terrible
So there is this Lysol commercial, where a mother has a child and his friend over to play. The friend sneezes and the mother looks over, picks up the can of Lysol and proceeds to spray down the kid's toys, with a footer saying over 30 seconds. Dear Lord, are you kidding me? If I ever become like that as a parent, shoot me. I understand some concern for your kids and making sure they don't catch anything, but when does it become too far and you stop letting your kid live? I realize it's just a commercial, but I know parents that do that and its just so annoying.
My job is getting better. I enjoy the time when eveyone else leaves and it's just me left at work. I get so much time to just think about life as file. Not to mention I get to put whatever CD I please in, and sing as loud as I want and no one will hear me, as long as I can still hear the phone. It would in fact be awesome if it weren't for being so late in the day and I had already worked six and half hours. Oh well.
So watching "Last Call with Carson Daly" and I can tell why it is on when no one is awake. He's got an interesting set and I like that he doesn't have the same band and instead showcases new bands, but I think he may need someone to build off of and such. Not to mention he has trouble in his interview with his guests and who exactly is the writer for his side shows?? Wow, has potential, but needs a lot of work.
So I am missing my Kiki talk tonight. She is at a retreat for the Christian Campus house she is a part of, and I hope is having a great time. I miss retreats with people you love. I went to every FCA retreat in high school. They were hosted by Mike Matheny, as he is from the area. He even hosted it before coming to the Cardinals. The first one I went to, he was a free agent having spent his most recent years with Milwaukee and he announced that his wife had just called and his agent was currently in talks with the Cardinals. Two weeks later, he signed. Those retreats were so much fun. The entire thing was a huge competition of so many random games. A total weekend of sports and God. Then add awesome music and if it only had theatre, it would be heaven.
Had many thoughts while I was working, but don't remember them all. I should make notes at work.
Here are some Relient K lyrics to leave you with. Women, please do not be offended by these lyrics. They are not about you, just the especially emotional females, and chances are that if you read my blog, you are not the type of female this talks about. However, if you do get offended about this, it probably is about you. Ironic.
We all know the girls that I am talking about
Well they are time bombs and they are ticking
And the only question’s when they’ll blow up
And they’ll blow up; we know that without a doubt
Cause they’re those girls, yeah you know those girls that let their emotions get the best of them
And I’ve contrived some sort of a plan to help my fellow man
Let’s get emotional girls to all wear mood rings
So we’ll be tipped off to when they’re ticked off
Cause we’ll know just what they’re thinking
Cause what they’re thinking...
She’s so pretty but she but doesn’t always act that way
Her mood’s out swinging on the swing set almost every day
She said to me that she’s so happy it’s depressing
And all I said was someone get that girl a mood ring
If it’s drama you want then look no further
They’re like the real world meets boy meets world meets days of our lives
And it just kills me how they get away with murder
They’ll anger you then bat their eyes; those pretty eyes that watch you sympathize
Cause when it’s black means watch your back because you’re probably
The last person in the world right now she wants to see
And when it’s blue it means that you should call her up immediately
And ask her out because she’ll most likely agree
And when it’s green it simply means that she is really stressed
And when it’s clear it means she’s completely emotionless (and that’s all right I must confess)
We all know the girls that I am talking about
She liked you wednesday but now it’s friday and she has to wash her hair
And it just figures that we’ll never figure them out
First she’s jekyll and then she’s hyde....at least she makes a lovely pair
Mood ring oh mood ring
Oh tell me will you bring
The key to unlock this mystery
Of girls and their emotions
Play it back in slow motion
So I may understand the complex infrastructure known as the female mind
Heh...that’s terrible
Thursday, January 27, 2005
Jefferson Aero Plane on a Thursday
Word to your mother. Yeah, yeah, I'm back with another update. I was gonna update last night. It's Kiki's fault. Shake your fist at her. Or don't. She's a nice person and is having an awesome day today. At least wait till tomorrow to shake your fist. Be respectful. I realize I'm talking in mainly fragments, but I don't care. I'm not an English Major. Which is also a great song.
I'm in a really random mood right now. Not quite sure why.
I bowled the best game and series of my life, bowling a 158 the first game, a 206 (my career high) the second and a 196 the third, for a 560 series. I was mucho pumped. It was a good time. I've been bowling with a fun team, it's been great.
So apparently there has been some controversy or something with Dr. Midgley, our new president. See what happens if I leave that school for one minute? If anyone has any information so I can have a clue as to what's going on, please share.
So I'm starting another blog, but this one has a totally differnt theme. I am titling it, "Storytime with Bob". I will be posting short stories or my novel (one chapter at a time) there for your enjoyment. It should be interesting. I love creative writing and just writing fiction and poems and stuff like that. I like to think I have a talent, but I'm not really that good. Tell me what you think, and please be honest. I love constructive criticism as chances are its not perfect.
I've been very much into Relient K lately. I can find a song that is exactly how I feel every moment it seems. Trademark just seems so appropriate for my life as of late. Those who have not heard their music are missing out.
The talks with Kiki as of late have really put me in an amazing mood. She can put things into such perspective and really dive into who I am. I feel like things, spiritually, are improving as well. She is quite the encouragement to all facets of life really, and it's been a good time. I think something I will need when I get back to Rose is to find a church in Terre Haute to call my own. Anyone who is interested in this quest with me is welcome, but I think I need to just find God in Terre Haute as well. It is soo easy to find Him here, as He is shown in the lives of my family and friends, but He isn't quite as evident in the Haute. Faith is very much steered away from at school, as there are few there and we don't want to offend anyone. But I think I need to dive out and see exactly what it is I believe and why, away from family influence. I mean, I'm pretty sure I know what it is that I believe, but mainly the basics as I have never dove out of my comfort zone to just let God move me and see what He wants to show me. I can say this all I want, but unless I act, it means nothing, so we will see where things lead when I get back. Keep me in your prayers.
It's my, my trademark move
To turn my back on you
It's my, my trademark move
To realize I should improve
And sometime soon after that
You'll see me come crawlin back
So reading Nick's Blog made me want to watch "American Beauty". Such a great movie. Such great quotes. Kevin Spacey is absolutely amazing in it. It's amazing what can happen when a man decides he has nothing to lose and just lives.
So I was planning sleep, so I will end this with some Relient K of course.
if it hurts,
kiss it better
you wear skirts,
i write nice letters
never said nothing with flowers
though we always talked for hours
and it seems to get much colder
when you cry on your own shoulder
and we know the show
must go on
guess i know
i guess i'll throw on
some jefferson airplane
i'm trapped and i am enclosed
but i won't complain
i'll open all the windows
cause when it's colder
i feel much better
when i cry on my own shoulder
i'll just throw on a sweater and go
and i'll go to undergo a change of heart, a change of clothes
and when i'm home,
i think i'll go eat cereal and stare out the window
i'll make the calls
you cover your ears
niagra falls
still flows on new year's
i will save
your plunging neck-line
kiss your face
you try to deck mine
if i behave it's going to cost him
stop the rave in downtown boston
and we know the show
must go on
guess i know
i guess i'll throw on
some jefferson airplane
i'm trapped and i am enclosed
but i won't complain
i'll open all the windows
cause when it's colder
i feel much better
when i cry on my own shoulder
i'll just throw on a sweater and go
and i'll go to undergo a surgery to purge me of this lonely mood
and my ego, the status quo, provides me with a decent attitude
and i'll go to undergo a change of heart, a change of clothes
and when i'm home,
i'll think i'll go eat cereal and stare out the window
cause you confused me more than anyone
an adjustment has begun
to let me feel the desperate need to leave what we undid undone
and maybe you could sympathize
with the bags under my eyes
and we'll see the signs are saying that we have used up all our (tries)
try to be a better person
to be a better friend
to be a better son
he tries to be a better someone
that understands the difference
and that he can't show all the people
all the things that really mean as much as he could
feels like i don't remember
ever being this tired
before now my eyes were closed to all of the beauty in this world
jefferson airplane
i'm trapped and i am enclosed
but i won't complain
i'll open all the windows
jefferson airplane
i'm trapped and i am enclosed
but i won't complain
i'll open all the windows
cause when it's colder
i feel much better
when i cry on my own shoulder
i'll just throw on a sweater and go
and i'll go to undergo a surgery to purge me of this lonely mood
and my ego, the status quo, provides me with a decent attitude
and i'll go to undergo a change of heart, a change of clothes
and i'll go, oh yes, i'll go
and hope the new me shows so everybody knows
that i've found myself able to fly away
without magic feathers or jefferson aero planes
i've got with me all that i need
BTW, just out of curiosity, I was wondering who all reads the lyrics?
I'm in a really random mood right now. Not quite sure why.
I bowled the best game and series of my life, bowling a 158 the first game, a 206 (my career high) the second and a 196 the third, for a 560 series. I was mucho pumped. It was a good time. I've been bowling with a fun team, it's been great.
So apparently there has been some controversy or something with Dr. Midgley, our new president. See what happens if I leave that school for one minute? If anyone has any information so I can have a clue as to what's going on, please share.
So I'm starting another blog, but this one has a totally differnt theme. I am titling it, "Storytime with Bob". I will be posting short stories or my novel (one chapter at a time) there for your enjoyment. It should be interesting. I love creative writing and just writing fiction and poems and stuff like that. I like to think I have a talent, but I'm not really that good. Tell me what you think, and please be honest. I love constructive criticism as chances are its not perfect.
I've been very much into Relient K lately. I can find a song that is exactly how I feel every moment it seems. Trademark just seems so appropriate for my life as of late. Those who have not heard their music are missing out.
The talks with Kiki as of late have really put me in an amazing mood. She can put things into such perspective and really dive into who I am. I feel like things, spiritually, are improving as well. She is quite the encouragement to all facets of life really, and it's been a good time. I think something I will need when I get back to Rose is to find a church in Terre Haute to call my own. Anyone who is interested in this quest with me is welcome, but I think I need to just find God in Terre Haute as well. It is soo easy to find Him here, as He is shown in the lives of my family and friends, but He isn't quite as evident in the Haute. Faith is very much steered away from at school, as there are few there and we don't want to offend anyone. But I think I need to dive out and see exactly what it is I believe and why, away from family influence. I mean, I'm pretty sure I know what it is that I believe, but mainly the basics as I have never dove out of my comfort zone to just let God move me and see what He wants to show me. I can say this all I want, but unless I act, it means nothing, so we will see where things lead when I get back. Keep me in your prayers.
It's my, my trademark move
To turn my back on you
It's my, my trademark move
To realize I should improve
And sometime soon after that
You'll see me come crawlin back
So reading Nick's Blog made me want to watch "American Beauty". Such a great movie. Such great quotes. Kevin Spacey is absolutely amazing in it. It's amazing what can happen when a man decides he has nothing to lose and just lives.
So I was planning sleep, so I will end this with some Relient K of course.
if it hurts,
kiss it better
you wear skirts,
i write nice letters
never said nothing with flowers
though we always talked for hours
and it seems to get much colder
when you cry on your own shoulder
and we know the show
must go on
guess i know
i guess i'll throw on
some jefferson airplane
i'm trapped and i am enclosed
but i won't complain
i'll open all the windows
cause when it's colder
i feel much better
when i cry on my own shoulder
i'll just throw on a sweater and go
and i'll go to undergo a change of heart, a change of clothes
and when i'm home,
i think i'll go eat cereal and stare out the window
i'll make the calls
you cover your ears
niagra falls
still flows on new year's
i will save
your plunging neck-line
kiss your face
you try to deck mine
if i behave it's going to cost him
stop the rave in downtown boston
and we know the show
must go on
guess i know
i guess i'll throw on
some jefferson airplane
i'm trapped and i am enclosed
but i won't complain
i'll open all the windows
cause when it's colder
i feel much better
when i cry on my own shoulder
i'll just throw on a sweater and go
and i'll go to undergo a surgery to purge me of this lonely mood
and my ego, the status quo, provides me with a decent attitude
and i'll go to undergo a change of heart, a change of clothes
and when i'm home,
i'll think i'll go eat cereal and stare out the window
cause you confused me more than anyone
an adjustment has begun
to let me feel the desperate need to leave what we undid undone
and maybe you could sympathize
with the bags under my eyes
and we'll see the signs are saying that we have used up all our (tries)
try to be a better person
to be a better friend
to be a better son
he tries to be a better someone
that understands the difference
and that he can't show all the people
all the things that really mean as much as he could
feels like i don't remember
ever being this tired
before now my eyes were closed to all of the beauty in this world
jefferson airplane
i'm trapped and i am enclosed
but i won't complain
i'll open all the windows
jefferson airplane
i'm trapped and i am enclosed
but i won't complain
i'll open all the windows
cause when it's colder
i feel much better
when i cry on my own shoulder
i'll just throw on a sweater and go
and i'll go to undergo a surgery to purge me of this lonely mood
and my ego, the status quo, provides me with a decent attitude
and i'll go to undergo a change of heart, a change of clothes
and i'll go, oh yes, i'll go
and hope the new me shows so everybody knows
that i've found myself able to fly away
without magic feathers or jefferson aero planes
i've got with me all that i need
BTW, just out of curiosity, I was wondering who all reads the lyrics?
Monday, January 24, 2005
Worldwide Socialites Unite on a Monday
So I wanted to update last night, but that drive home wore me out, sorry. But the drive home was a good time to really be able to think. I wish I could blog in the car. I have so many things that I would like to publish that I think of in the car, but don't remember by the time I get to my computer. Blah.
Cause I struggle with forward motion
I struggle with forward motion
We all struggle with forward motion
Cause forward motion is harder than it sounds
Well everytime I gain some ground
I gotta turn myself around again
It's harder than it sounds
Well everytime I gain some ground
I gotta turn myself around again
~Relient K "Forward Motion"
So I decided that on the road of life, I am a drunk driver. I swerve off the path in front of me, kind of blurred vision as to what is ahead and don't exactly have the best reaction time. It makes total sense to me.
I think it might just be alright
To leave what matters out of sight
Old habits die hard holding on
Inevitable means it's never gone
Told myself what I need to hear
I think the point was very clear
I showed me what we'd missed since we
Slipped into inconsistency
It seems as if my ties with you get severed
I cant seem to hold a thing together
I just fall apart, cause that's my trademark
~Relient K "Trademark"
I really enjoyed my weekend in the Haute. I wish I was still there. I miss all those people so much. Absolutely love my Sunday Dinner group. This week I made homemade pizza and priazzo. Priazzo is awesome. It's like a double decker, deep dish pizza. It was my first time making it, and it turned out rather well. It's crazy. Each time I cook, it's like I try to outdo the last one I did. This one is gonna be hard to top. Pretty soon, I'll just start going easy, so don't get used to these meals, guys. :-P
Initiation was great. It was truly a great time to see my little brother initiate his own little brother. I actually have the start of a lineage. He's a real good guy too. We all had a great time at banquet, too. There was a live band, which I was a little unsure about at first, but it turned out to be quite awesome. It didn't hurt having a hot date either.
So when I get to the moment that I start to think of way I might be content not going back to Rose, I go back to visit and see how much I belong there. I belong with the people, I belong with the classes that actually make me think. I belong at Rose. And I don't think I ever fully realized it as much as I do now. I think this whole thing has caused me to appreciate my friends and how much I really had just that much more.
We worked out more details of the apartment next year. I am rather excited about it. We found that living at VQ next year, that even rather high figures will be about half the price of living on campus. With those numbers, I can't afford to not live off campus. And it's gonna be a fun apartment too. Living with Nick, Mike and Adam, how could it not be a blast? Ya'll will have to come visit plenty. I think may even host a cast party or two, but maybe we shouldn't get ahead of ourselves.
Been having a great time talking with a friend of old that I didn't know that well, but our friendship has grown much over the past couple of weeks. She is such an interesting person and just a joy to talk to. She makes my day often, so my hat is off to her. She knows who she is.
Well I think I'm gonna leave you with some All Star United. I love this band sarcasm to get a point across. Fits me well, I must say.
At the top of the social ladder I speak
Let me welcome you here officially
To the back drop of martini clatter
Break the ice with superficial chatter
I'm glad to be this year's MC
To greet the chic and the elite
Yeah, you finally get to mix and mingle
Pressing flesh until your fingers tingle
Worldwide socialites unite
OK, alright
The band is grander than I recall
The talk is cultured, if a little small
Keep parading your charading manners
Keep pretending that it really matters
Don't ask, don't tell
And please don't stare at the emperor
In his underwear
Special thanks to the snack committee
Heavens, don't those tarts look pretty
Worldwide socialites unite
Enjoy the conversation
But try to keep it light
Just avoid the friction
And if you feel conviction
Well then, baby, step outside
Let's keep the "lite" in social
Let's keep the social light
Let's keep the "lite" in socialite
Worldwide socialites unite
Avoid the dreaded question
The meaning of our lives
And as to God's existence
Well, that's your private business
And, quite frankly, impolite
Let's keep the "lite" in social
Let's keep this social light
Let's keep the "lite" in socialite
Cause I struggle with forward motion
I struggle with forward motion
We all struggle with forward motion
Cause forward motion is harder than it sounds
Well everytime I gain some ground
I gotta turn myself around again
It's harder than it sounds
Well everytime I gain some ground
I gotta turn myself around again
~Relient K "Forward Motion"
So I decided that on the road of life, I am a drunk driver. I swerve off the path in front of me, kind of blurred vision as to what is ahead and don't exactly have the best reaction time. It makes total sense to me.
I think it might just be alright
To leave what matters out of sight
Old habits die hard holding on
Inevitable means it's never gone
Told myself what I need to hear
I think the point was very clear
I showed me what we'd missed since we
Slipped into inconsistency
It seems as if my ties with you get severed
I cant seem to hold a thing together
I just fall apart, cause that's my trademark
~Relient K "Trademark"
I really enjoyed my weekend in the Haute. I wish I was still there. I miss all those people so much. Absolutely love my Sunday Dinner group. This week I made homemade pizza and priazzo. Priazzo is awesome. It's like a double decker, deep dish pizza. It was my first time making it, and it turned out rather well. It's crazy. Each time I cook, it's like I try to outdo the last one I did. This one is gonna be hard to top. Pretty soon, I'll just start going easy, so don't get used to these meals, guys. :-P
Initiation was great. It was truly a great time to see my little brother initiate his own little brother. I actually have the start of a lineage. He's a real good guy too. We all had a great time at banquet, too. There was a live band, which I was a little unsure about at first, but it turned out to be quite awesome. It didn't hurt having a hot date either.
So when I get to the moment that I start to think of way I might be content not going back to Rose, I go back to visit and see how much I belong there. I belong with the people, I belong with the classes that actually make me think. I belong at Rose. And I don't think I ever fully realized it as much as I do now. I think this whole thing has caused me to appreciate my friends and how much I really had just that much more.
We worked out more details of the apartment next year. I am rather excited about it. We found that living at VQ next year, that even rather high figures will be about half the price of living on campus. With those numbers, I can't afford to not live off campus. And it's gonna be a fun apartment too. Living with Nick, Mike and Adam, how could it not be a blast? Ya'll will have to come visit plenty. I think may even host a cast party or two, but maybe we shouldn't get ahead of ourselves.
Been having a great time talking with a friend of old that I didn't know that well, but our friendship has grown much over the past couple of weeks. She is such an interesting person and just a joy to talk to. She makes my day often, so my hat is off to her. She knows who she is.
Well I think I'm gonna leave you with some All Star United. I love this band sarcasm to get a point across. Fits me well, I must say.
At the top of the social ladder I speak
Let me welcome you here officially
To the back drop of martini clatter
Break the ice with superficial chatter
I'm glad to be this year's MC
To greet the chic and the elite
Yeah, you finally get to mix and mingle
Pressing flesh until your fingers tingle
Worldwide socialites unite
OK, alright
The band is grander than I recall
The talk is cultured, if a little small
Keep parading your charading manners
Keep pretending that it really matters
Don't ask, don't tell
And please don't stare at the emperor
In his underwear
Special thanks to the snack committee
Heavens, don't those tarts look pretty
Worldwide socialites unite
Enjoy the conversation
But try to keep it light
Just avoid the friction
And if you feel conviction
Well then, baby, step outside
Let's keep the "lite" in social
Let's keep the social light
Let's keep the "lite" in socialite
Worldwide socialites unite
Avoid the dreaded question
The meaning of our lives
And as to God's existence
Well, that's your private business
And, quite frankly, impolite
Let's keep the "lite" in social
Let's keep this social light
Let's keep the "lite" in socialite
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
All You Got on a Tuesday
So this one will be rather short as I need some sleep, but I thought I may give you something to chew on.
So tonight I watched "Big" with Michelle. It was quite the good time. Good company, good movie. So for those who have not seen the movie, this kid wishes upon a carnival magic thing that he could be big, and wakes up the next morning as Tom Hanks. Well later on in the movie, this lady falls in love with him, but learns he is only 13. Now basically, I was thinking, how crazy would it be to find someone you totally connect with and become nuts about to find that they are a 13 year old in a 30 year old's body. I can't even imagine. Chew on that awhile and give me your thoughts.
Got to talk with someone I've never been able to just sit and talk with before. We had the same group of friends, but I don't know, I just never had a full, real discussion with her. Turns out we have a lot in common and just had a blast talking. It was great and we made an agreement that we talk more often. If by more often we mean more than before, it shouldn't be too hard, but none the less, the discussion was fun and we wish we had gotten to know each other more in high school, as we did after all spend 3 years in the same school and barely said a word. I think we talked more last night than we had all the years we had known each other. Crrrrazy.
I will now leave you with some Tait lyrics.
I heard you say that no one seems to care ‘bout you
It’s in your eyes, you think that life’s unfair to you
Just give it all you got, my friend
Just give it all you got, it’s not the end
Cause you oughta know
There’s a reason for these changin’ seasons
God only knows how much your heart can bear
So don’t you let go
Everybody has their up and down times
Everybody needs to know how much they’re loved
My friend
So hold on, it’s not the end
As I remember everything you touch
Would turn to gold
You held the secrets
To make your grandest dreams unfold
You were the very best of us all
But the sun that rises still falls
It’s just a love song
Cause everybody needs a friend
I’ll be right here for you
Just a simple prayer
It’s from the bottom of my heart
That He’ll never let you go
So tonight I watched "Big" with Michelle. It was quite the good time. Good company, good movie. So for those who have not seen the movie, this kid wishes upon a carnival magic thing that he could be big, and wakes up the next morning as Tom Hanks. Well later on in the movie, this lady falls in love with him, but learns he is only 13. Now basically, I was thinking, how crazy would it be to find someone you totally connect with and become nuts about to find that they are a 13 year old in a 30 year old's body. I can't even imagine. Chew on that awhile and give me your thoughts.
Got to talk with someone I've never been able to just sit and talk with before. We had the same group of friends, but I don't know, I just never had a full, real discussion with her. Turns out we have a lot in common and just had a blast talking. It was great and we made an agreement that we talk more often. If by more often we mean more than before, it shouldn't be too hard, but none the less, the discussion was fun and we wish we had gotten to know each other more in high school, as we did after all spend 3 years in the same school and barely said a word. I think we talked more last night than we had all the years we had known each other. Crrrrazy.
I will now leave you with some Tait lyrics.
I heard you say that no one seems to care ‘bout you
It’s in your eyes, you think that life’s unfair to you
Just give it all you got, my friend
Just give it all you got, it’s not the end
Cause you oughta know
There’s a reason for these changin’ seasons
God only knows how much your heart can bear
So don’t you let go
Everybody has their up and down times
Everybody needs to know how much they’re loved
My friend
So hold on, it’s not the end
As I remember everything you touch
Would turn to gold
You held the secrets
To make your grandest dreams unfold
You were the very best of us all
But the sun that rises still falls
It’s just a love song
Cause everybody needs a friend
I’ll be right here for you
Just a simple prayer
It’s from the bottom of my heart
That He’ll never let you go
Sunday, January 16, 2005
I'm Gonna Show You Love on a Sunday
So I am trying something new and starting a blog on blogspot.com. I've gotten fed up with the inconsistancy of tBlog, so I am trying a new server. Check out both and tell me which one you like better. I'll keep both up for the next week, updating on both, but unless I get plenty of people saying they like the tBlog one better, I will probably be moving permanently to blogspot. For those reading from Blogspot, the tBlog address is http://bobprescott.tblog.com/, and for those reading from tBlog, the Blogspot address is http://bobprescott.blogspot.com/. As you can see, I am quite creative. I figure this way it's easier to remember. Whatever.
I am in a quite hateful mood, quite hateul towards Boston. Sorry Allison. You see it has been a Boston team to take the national title out of my teams hands in both baseball and football. Coincidence? Grrrr. Blah.
So this Strep Throat has turned into more of a cold. More Blah. I hate being sick. It sucks. I get to go to Rose this upcoming weekend though. That's exciting. I miss all my Rose peoples. I got to chat with a few of them. That was kind of interesting. Even if not for having an interesting conversation, it was interesting just the way we communicated. Through Nick. It is quite humorous to talk to 5 different people through one person.
So turns out a lot of people actually read my blog. I find it quite interesting actually. I have no clue who all actually reads, but at the wedding last night someone told me they read my blog, and even went as far as to quote it. I was quite amazed. However they had a different interpretation of my feelings, causing me to wonder what they have said to mentioned persons how they think I feel. Reading back over that sentence, that will probably make no sense to anyone but the person I am talking about in the first place. Maybe I should just stop being half way secretive. I dunno, kinda takes the fun away then.
So my friends, Betsy and Jeremy got married last night. It was a beautiful ceremony and quite different from the wedding I went to the weekend before. For one, the size. Betsy and Jeremy's was huge taking place in one of the largest churches in the area, seemingly inviting half of Millstadt. And Karin and John's was pretty small, only family and a few friends from church, in Bellecourt, where they also held the reception. But they were both good times. Michelle was in the wedding party and absolutely gorgeous. We had a good time dancing all night and trying to convince our friends to come on out and join us on the dance floor. Jadah was out there of course, as she loves to dance, and Sloth was out a lot, surprisingly enough, and I must say, not doing a bad job on the dance floor either. I was rather impressed, as he does not seem to be the type to dance much. I guess it just goes to show you that first impressions aren't a guarentee. But to get Sommer and especially Josh out on the dance floor was like pulling teeth. At a wedding, no one cares if you can dance or not, just go out there and have a good time. This is a celebration. In fact you can go out there and pull out some wacky, totally white moves and people love it. But people are still too embarassed.
Next rant, and its an oldie, but why do women go for assholes? Even these christian women who hang out in their bible study groups, full of young adults, co-ed, go for the assholes in the group. The ones that are nothing like the girls claim to be looking for in a guy. Are these guys just more attractive than me? Are they more forward than me? Can you not tell if I'm interested without being an asshole? I mean what is it that makes girls look at me, then look at an asshole and think, "Bob is a really great guy, but I think I will take my chances with the asshole."? Okay, enough ranting, it's probably a dead subject, and most of you are either rolling your eyes or saying, "Dude, I know, been there, it sucks." I found this article and many of you have seen it as Nick posted it on his blog after I showed it to him, but for those who haven't, you may appreciate this. Ode to Nice Guys
I really don't have much as it is hard to think with this bloody headache, so I will leave you with some Jars of Clay which have just felt so right.
Speak - say the words that no one else will ever say
Love - love like the world we know is over in a day
I'm gonna show you love in every language
I'm gonna speak with words that need no form
I'm gonna give you what you never had before
You're beautiful and I am weakened by the force of your eyes
So shine bright to separate the truth from the lies
I'm gonna show you love
I'm gonna show you love in every language
I'm gonna speak with words that need no form
I'm gonna give you what you never had before
So tie me to a tree and let the smoke and ash collect
No, I won't regret to let love do what love will let
We can drown in mixed emotions or walk across an angry sea
This is the cost of being free
I am in a quite hateful mood, quite hateul towards Boston. Sorry Allison. You see it has been a Boston team to take the national title out of my teams hands in both baseball and football. Coincidence? Grrrr. Blah.
So this Strep Throat has turned into more of a cold. More Blah. I hate being sick. It sucks. I get to go to Rose this upcoming weekend though. That's exciting. I miss all my Rose peoples. I got to chat with a few of them. That was kind of interesting. Even if not for having an interesting conversation, it was interesting just the way we communicated. Through Nick. It is quite humorous to talk to 5 different people through one person.
So turns out a lot of people actually read my blog. I find it quite interesting actually. I have no clue who all actually reads, but at the wedding last night someone told me they read my blog, and even went as far as to quote it. I was quite amazed. However they had a different interpretation of my feelings, causing me to wonder what they have said to mentioned persons how they think I feel. Reading back over that sentence, that will probably make no sense to anyone but the person I am talking about in the first place. Maybe I should just stop being half way secretive. I dunno, kinda takes the fun away then.
So my friends, Betsy and Jeremy got married last night. It was a beautiful ceremony and quite different from the wedding I went to the weekend before. For one, the size. Betsy and Jeremy's was huge taking place in one of the largest churches in the area, seemingly inviting half of Millstadt. And Karin and John's was pretty small, only family and a few friends from church, in Bellecourt, where they also held the reception. But they were both good times. Michelle was in the wedding party and absolutely gorgeous. We had a good time dancing all night and trying to convince our friends to come on out and join us on the dance floor. Jadah was out there of course, as she loves to dance, and Sloth was out a lot, surprisingly enough, and I must say, not doing a bad job on the dance floor either. I was rather impressed, as he does not seem to be the type to dance much. I guess it just goes to show you that first impressions aren't a guarentee. But to get Sommer and especially Josh out on the dance floor was like pulling teeth. At a wedding, no one cares if you can dance or not, just go out there and have a good time. This is a celebration. In fact you can go out there and pull out some wacky, totally white moves and people love it. But people are still too embarassed.
Next rant, and its an oldie, but why do women go for assholes? Even these christian women who hang out in their bible study groups, full of young adults, co-ed, go for the assholes in the group. The ones that are nothing like the girls claim to be looking for in a guy. Are these guys just more attractive than me? Are they more forward than me? Can you not tell if I'm interested without being an asshole? I mean what is it that makes girls look at me, then look at an asshole and think, "Bob is a really great guy, but I think I will take my chances with the asshole."? Okay, enough ranting, it's probably a dead subject, and most of you are either rolling your eyes or saying, "Dude, I know, been there, it sucks." I found this article and many of you have seen it as Nick posted it on his blog after I showed it to him, but for those who haven't, you may appreciate this. Ode to Nice Guys
I really don't have much as it is hard to think with this bloody headache, so I will leave you with some Jars of Clay which have just felt so right.
Speak - say the words that no one else will ever say
Love - love like the world we know is over in a day
I'm gonna show you love in every language
I'm gonna speak with words that need no form
I'm gonna give you what you never had before
You're beautiful and I am weakened by the force of your eyes
So shine bright to separate the truth from the lies
I'm gonna show you love
I'm gonna show you love in every language
I'm gonna speak with words that need no form
I'm gonna give you what you never had before
So tie me to a tree and let the smoke and ash collect
No, I won't regret to let love do what love will let
We can drown in mixed emotions or walk across an angry sea
This is the cost of being free
Archives
So here is a link to my other blog for the archives before this one. As you can see, this one is new. The other is not.
http://bobprescott.tblog.com/
http://bobprescott.tblog.com/
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