Ever been talked about as if you weren't there? Even when your head is resting on the person's shoulder? Ever have something criticized that you put a lot of value in, even in a simply joking way? Ever wonder if you could disappear and wonder if anyone notices, even if you make a lot of noise? If you have answered yes to any of these, I know how you feel. Well, that, and Ameritol may be right for you. Bug the crap out of your doctor about it so we can make another dollar.
Wow, in kind of a weird mood right now. I really can't explain it.
I'm getting tired of people criticizing religion so strongly around me. I don't know if people realize it bothers me, but I don't exactly hide it either.
I need to find a church here. I kind of feel like I am in a spiritual standstill, and I don't like it. Tere are some things I need to work on here. I know what they are, but knowing and doing are two totally different things.
My toe needs to heal, and fast. I found that I can be a sub and for free at a local bowling league. I miss bowling. Just losing everything around you for a couple hours. And that moment you step onto the lane, nothing else matters and everything fades away into a distant blur. Take a deep breath and throw the ball. I need to just lose myself sometimes and bowling is a great outlet. But until my toe heals, I don't have that.
Playing guitar last night with Nick was a lot of fun. I messed up the rhythm a few times, but I'm getting better. Flying Horses is such a fun song to play. I'm gonna start playing every night until my fingers hurt. Flying Horses was just what I needed. A song I can play and not sound retarded. I need to find words for the song I have written. I can feel them coming, but they aren't here yet. So I wait here in anticipation of being there in the moment. I wish I still had some of the songs I wrote before. They didn't have good music at all. but they were pretty good lyrically. Oh well, I shall be inspired again, once I know what I want to write about.
Well, I think I'll just leave you with some Relient K for good measures. Such an awesome song and great guitar. If you would like to hear it, let me know.
Am I at the point of no improvement?
What of the death I still dwell in?
I try to excel, but I feel no movement.
Can I be free of this unreleasable sin?
Never underestimate my Jesus.
You're telling me that there's no hope.
I'm telling you your wrong.
Never underestimate my Jesus
When the world around you crumbles
He will be strong, He will be strong
I throw up my hands
"Oh, the impossibilities"
Frustrated and tired
Where do I go from here?
Now I'm searching for the confidence I've lost so willingly
Overcoming these obstacles is overcoming my fear
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2 comments:
What's Ameritol? I coulld look it up, but I was in class from 730-420 and I don't want to do anything that even remotely resembles work.
Ameritol... We should stock up on that. I know what you mean about the spiritual stuff though. I miss church, but it's my own fault.
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