The irony of the title....
Hmmmmm, not sure what to say. I know I need to talk to a couple people about something completely unrelated. But I'm not sure what to say to either. I want to talk. I really do. I hate things being so frickin' confusing and being completely in the dark. I am so afraid of betraying friendships. Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
If you think you are one of these two people, come talk to me. We'll have a good talk. We should have talked before, but it's tough.
You know what grinds my gears? Grudges. Maybe it's because I am a guy, but I can never hold grudges. Maybe it's that I am naive and like to think people can change and try to see the good in anybody. Now I'm not saying I am never pissed at someone, but after a while, I get over it.
I was actually told tonight that if I told someone something that wouldn't be a big deal to anyone but this person, that this person would never talk to me again, all of her life and would be completely erased from her life. Makes me wonder how much my friendship really matters to her. That she would throw everything away for one thing. Forever. Not that I was ever planning on it. But to know that she would do that is kind of heart breaking.
On a happier note, I'm getting rather excited about the possibility of bringing a new form of theatre to Rose. I think it could be a huge hit, at least with our Drama Club, as it is so much fun to be a part of. I hope this excitement rubs off on others. But this 24 hour play festival makes me feel a lot better about not being able to do much theatre at Rose any more. I think I am really gonna miss being in those full length plays, but this....this is my baby. This is how I am leaving my mark on RDC. Introducing it somethng that I have loved and been a part of. I have already introduced a couple of friends to it, hopefully I can bring it to RDC as well.
Wow, today was the 4th anniversary of 9/11. And to think tht was my ex-girlfriend's 16th birthday. Which reminds me, she turned 20 today. Happy Birthday Jackie.
Ever wonder waht happened to people you used to be so closed to, but haven't kept in touch?
Nick was right, TAI is pretty good. He knows my taste in music pretty well, so I trust his recommendations.
Well time for bed, but I will leave you with some good ole Jars of Clay. Such an amazing band. Enjoy.
f you put your arms around me
Could it change the way I feel
I guess I let myself believe
That the outside might just
Bleed it's way in
Maybe stir the sleeping past
Lying under glass
Waiting for the kiss
That breaks this awful spell
Pull me out...of this lonely cell
Close my eyes and hold my heart
Cover me and make me something
Change this something normal
Into something beautiful
What I get from my reflection
Isn't what I thought I'd see
Give me reason to believe
Never leave me incomplete
Will you untie this loss of mine
It so easily defines me
Do you see it on my face?
And all I can think about
Is how long
I've been waiting to feel you move me
And I'm still fighting for the
Word to break these chains
And I still pray when I look
In your eyes, you'll stare right
Back down into something beautiful
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3 comments:
If someone is so quick to pass judgement on others, and so quick to threaten your friendship about something so trivial, maybe there never REALLY was a friendship in the first place...
Your friendship means a hell of a lot. This is one of those things, where you don't know how strongly the other person feels about something that seems trivial to you. To her, its as big as making out with your best friends girlfriend. And that, you just don't do. You know from all of our conversations and everything that's happened between us that we're very close friends. There's no danger of us not being friends over that...its not going to happen...but it did stress how important it was to me.
Grudges are stupid! Good thing you aren't holding one for me breaking off our marriage :-* Miss ya
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